Out of the blue the other day, The Man of the House says to me, "Ultimately, I'm glad our kids sit with us through church."
I'm not sure what he meant by "ultimately", but I agreed. Then, we went on to discuss The Boy's actions in church that morning... not bad... but restless, ya know?
We have all kinds of good stories from the church pew (I think everybody's favorite is the
Chocolate Cheerios Incident of 2011). Like everything else,
you live and you learn;
on-the-job-training;
life training and now
CPT.
CPT is what we call "Church Pew Training". My family and I were talking one day about how our kids act in church; the difficulties and frustrations of getting them to sit still, keeping them quiet, remaining calm ourselves, the funny things they do, discipline and ect. We summed it all up by admitting that we know it gets better, it's just the age, we laughed and called the whole process "CPT".
I feel like we are in a good place with our CPT right now. I think we've already got one certificate (there is no certificate) and we may graduate early (there is no graduation) with the other kiddos. It really can be a frustrating, sometimes embarrassing, tiring, and a loooooooong process, but once you have that certificate (there is no certificate) it's worth it! CPT can be a long, loud wrestling match 2-3 hours a week, but I'm confident that the results will be immeasurable!
I know that a lot of people send their kids to the nursery or Children's Church during worship services. Our congregation doesn't have those things. We go to Sunday School for an hour and then the entire congregation comes together for worship services. While it's true that I would be able to pay more attention to the sermon
not being in a wrestling match or
not doling out snacks or coloring or pointing out all the penguins in a book I love that they are there right next to me the whole time.
I love that they get to see how I bow my head to pray (
James 5:16). I love that they get to see their dad taking notes and following along in his Bible (
Acts 20:7,
Colossians 4:16). I love that they get to watch us take communion. I love that they get to see us being reverent and serious about "drinking the juice and eating the crackers" (
1 Corinthians 11:25-26). I love that are watching and listening to me sing praises to God (
Hebrews 13:15). I love that I don't have to make excuses for my voice because to them and God I sound like an angel. They are watching every little thing we do and these acts of worship are the most important things we do all week. I love their questions and comments (
1 Peter 3:15)! I love watching them proudly drop their pennies and quarters in the collection plate on it's way down the pew
(1 Corinthians 16:2). I am very thankful that they get to see me and their dad participating in worship to God. I love that they get to see how important and meaningful it is to us from such a young age.
The day that we're not carrying in diaper bags and coloring books and constantly worrying about what kind of faces they're making at the people behind us will come all too soon. The day that I don't have to worry about what to wear- pants or skirt
during my wrestling match to church Sunday morning will be here before I know it.
In the meantime, here are some suggestions for your own CPT that have worked for us:
- Bring a church bag. Fill a small bag with books, coloring books, paper, pencils, colors, a couple of toys (our kids always have to bring a "guy" with them so that their "guy" can hear The Gospel), snacks, whatever. We have forgotten our church bag the last couple of weeks... I wont say it has been a disaster. I will say that I am going to load it in the car as soon as I finish this post.
- Let them turn around. When they're little bitty, I see nothing wrong with letting them turn around in the pew for a second every once in a while to stare down the folks behind them. Most people will find it adorable and a pleasant interruption to the service. It's a great way for the little people to make friends and feel comfortable in their surroundings.
- Snuggle. This is a great time to snuggle. Maybe you just have to physically hold them still, hug and love on them in your lap. Hugs and kisses, scratching backs, playing with their hair, whatever. Maybe they're already kind of tired that time of day. Just wrap your arms around them tight and make them comfortable.
- Wrestle-Mania! I don't reccomend wearing a skirt for this. Ha ha ha- no really. Sometimes those little squirm worms on your lap can wrestle around so much they stretch the neck of that shirt down lower than what you had it Saturday night and they bring the hem of your shirt up to meet. But sometimes you just have to wrestle. You're picking them up off the floor, they're throwing themselves over your shoulder, they're stretched out flat, then they're bouncing on your knees. You're sitting their little bottoms down next to yours with a coloring book and they're swinging from your neck. You're picking up a toy from the floor and they're doing a head stand on the pew. After the closing prayer, you're a wore out, hot mess. If you're me, you've got the experienced parents behind you (who thoroughly enjoyed the show) patting you on the back, saying, "Feels like a wrestling match, doesn't it? Yeah, we've been there." Sometimes it just has to be done. Light at the end of the tunnle? Before you know it, they will be sitting still, minding their own business only asking a few questions throughout. Before you know it, they'll be asking you questions about Jesus. Before you know it, you will be discussing the lesson with them that afternoon. The bigger picture? The goal? Your main objective? Proverbs 22:6 and well, we're just trying to get to heaven and take as many people with us as possible.
- Never let their little feet touch the floor. This will sometimes result in a wrestling match, but we never let them down from your lap or their seat. As soon as they get down to just walk around within your own aisle you'll be lifting up your feet while they're rolling under them and jumping up to chase them down the aisle at least 2- 3 times in a 30 minute span.
- Don't make empty promises (or threats). I know we've all heard this in just about every dicussion ever had on discipline. I don't care for being a broken record, so if you need more I'd suggest some of James Dobson's books like Dare to Discipline or The Strong-Willed Child or Parenting Isn't for Cowards. I'm no experienced expert! C'mon people, I've only been a mom for 5 years!
- Relax. Have a sense of humor. Stick to it. Okay, so maybe I rolled three points up into one, here. They are the easiest and the hardest. I know that from the pulpit they warn about habits and going through the motions of being a Christian, don't fall into a routine, ect. But with kids, make it a habit! Make Sunday school a habit! Make praying a routine. The prayer doesn't have to be routine, the weekly habit doesn't have to be boring, just make it expected and let them know what you expect from them. Don't give up on making God, His commands, His Church, His people a priority. It doesn't get easier to start up later. It gets easier when you've made it a priority. Don't worry about what other people think. Even if you have to get up 20 times in a 30 minute span the fact that you are there is an encouragment to someone else. Afterwards, go have lunch, sit back and tell stories of all the crazy things your kids did that morning. Heck, throw in some stories of other poeple's kids, too. Those are always better.
These are just some suggestions of things that have helped us. Being with God's people is a blessing that I look forward to. I know that seeing my family in church (distractions they may be) is a blessings to everyone else just as everyone is to me. I love having the kids there right next to me to hug on, to sing with, to whisper to, to laugh at, to tickle, to hold, to color and draw with, to pray with and even wrestle with.
Encouraging parents to take their families to church is definitely something that falls by the wayside. There are plenty of excuses to not go no matter what stage of life you're in, but when you have kids the excuses are infinite! Believe me- I know all the "
Little Excuses".
I also love that *BONUS* I can take them to weddings or funerals without much worry because they know the drill for the most part. We both have had practice. We've both been through CPT.
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