Six Things to Learn About a New Dad

I LOVE watching my husband be a dad. We are new to this parenting gig, and we are just slowly getting into (somewhat) of a routine. There is no doubt that having a baby is a game-changer, but we have enjoyed the transition. These are a few things, in my limited experience, I’ve learned about new dads, and I thought I’d share them with you:

1.  New dad suddenly feels a tremendous amount of responsibility

My husband is our family’s financial provider, our spiritual leader, and the head of our house. Before our son came on board, he fulfilled all of those roles, but, now that he is dad, he feels the responsibility even more. We took a family picture on Thanksgiving of this year, and he set it as the background on his work computer.  He said every time he looks at it, he remembers how much responsibility he has for our family. If he seems a little stressed in the beginning, it is probably because of this. Pray for him!

2. New dad doesn’t quite know where he fits in the early days

In the first few weeks after a baby is born, everyone is concerned with the baby. “How is he sleeping? Is he a content baby? Is he colicky?  Is he growing?” They are also concerned with the momma and her recovery. “How are you feeling? Are you getting any rest? How do you like being a mom? How is nursing going?” Not too many people ask about how the dad is doing, and on one hand this makes sense. He didn’t carry the baby for nine months, he didn’t endure labor and delivery, he doesn’t have to learn how to breastfeed, and the list goes on. On the other hand, I can’t understand why nobody asks how new dad is doing! He’s the one keeping the whole show together in those early days. We’ll talk more about this in number three. I remember having a conversation with my husband the first few weeks of our son’s life. He just didn’t know where he fit in, and it made him withdraw a little bit. He explained that he knew our son knew who I was, but he just didn’t think our son knew him apart from anybody else. I reassured that our little guy knew him better than he thought he did, and offered the best encouragement I could for being a couple weeks post partum and sleep deprived. J Just three weeks after our little man was born, my husband had to go away for nearly a week on a business trip. When he got home, Lukas was crying. When he heard his dad’s voice, though, he stopped crying and just looked intently up at him. It was so neat and I believe it reassured my husband that he did know him, even at that young of an age. 

3. New dad is anxious to help

My husband kept the whole show going our first few weeks at home! He took great care of me in the hospital and at home. My first shower after delivery, I couldn’t bend down to dry my feet and legs off, so my husband had to do it for me. He filled my prescriptions. He cooked. He cleaned. He did laundry. He changed diaper after diaper after diaper. He stayed up late with our little guy when he just wouldn’t sleep. He made sure I got as much rest as I could. He did anything and everything he could do to help me and our boy. I’ll never forget how much he served us during that time. Even now, when our guy wakes up in the night, he always wakes up and offers to calm him down, change a diaper, or get me something to drink. Just last night while I was up nursing, he rolled over and asked “do you need anything?” I said no and thought it was sweet of him to ask. Turns out while talking to him this morning, he dreamed that I asked him for a glass of tea. We don’t even have any tea! Ha ha. We had a rough night with our little man last night, can you tell?

4.  New dad can’t wait to play and roughhouse

Maybe it’s because we have a boy. Or maybe it’s just because my husband is just a grown up kid, and kids like to play, but he can’t wait to play and roughhouse with our boy. He doesn’t say it in that many words, but I can tell in the way he acts. As our boy gets bigger and shows a little more interest in toys, my husband gets more excited. He beams as our little guy grabs at his toys or rolls over. He also has grand plans of buying hunting dogs for birthdays, basketball goals, and other toys boys love to play with. I am so excited to see them play together.

5.  New dad loves coming home to see his wife and baby

My husband loves coming home to us, and for that I am grateful. He comes in with a smile on his face each night and hugs to pass out. Maybe it is because he loves his job and has usually had a good day at work, or maybe it is because he loves his role as husband and father. I like to show him videos or pictures I’ve taken of the little man during the day and watch his face light up as he sees them. I like to see him and the little man exchange big ol’ grins at each other like they are long lost pals. My husband coming home at night is the highlight of my day.

6.  New dad is proud of the momma you are

Before I became a mother, I had heard the quote by Donna Bell “Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing, even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.” I never knew how true that quote is until I had my baby! Especially that last part; as a brand new momma, there are days when I feel like I am doing everything wrong. I remember telling my boy one time, “The only thing I know how to do for you is love you.” My husband wrote a list of ten things he loves about me being a mom and put it with one of my Christmas gifts this year. It brought me to tears. Big, crocodile tears. I’ll keep that list forever! I’m grateful that he is proud of me and is my biggest cheerleader.

That’s just a quick list of what I’ve learned about new dads… They need our love, encouragement, and prayers daily. No matter how long we’ve been parents, we are learning how to be momma’s and learning what kind of momma we want to be and our husbands are learning how to be dads and what kind of dads they want to be.

What have you learned about new dads?