The Shooting

I just can't not comment on this.
I hate it. I've had such an unsettled, helpless feeling since it happened- like, "what are we gonna do now?" And then I think about those parents... and I just can't do it. My kids are about that age and I just can't go there. But, how can we not think about them?
I know I'll be thinking about them on my Christmas morning at my house with my kids crawling all over me, laughing with wrapping paper stuck to their jammas and toys everywhere. I'll be thinking about those parents as we tie our sugar-hyped kids into the car and make our way to grandma's (hoping they sleep on the way) to eat all her cookies and get spoiled with even more snuggles and gifts. I'll be thinking of them at the end of the day when my precious little gifts pass-out in their beds with sticky candy canes stuck in their hair and new toys piled up next the door.
I'll be thinking about them and praying about the whole situation, but I can't put myself in their shoes or even imagine... I can't go there. I can be really thankful all Christmas Day and everyday that I have been given the kids I've been given.
There's a lot I can't do. I'm not in the position politically and more importantly, I am not the ruler of the universe (I'm only half ruler of our 5 acre plot). There are a lot of reasons being pushed on us and tossed around to the natural, first question, "why?". We've got gun control, mental illness, video games, parenting, Hollywood, over-saturated media, lack of family values, removing prayer from public school,  and I'm sure I'm leaving some out. I have an opinion on each one of those reasons, but if I was a Sandy Hook parent I don't think I would care for the one, simplistic, "boiled down to" answer. There can't be just one simple reason for a tragedy that will cause so many complications in so many lives for the rest of their lives! I can't accept just one, simple answer. No, something like this deserves more thought and more "yes, but why?" questions asked. The murder of even just one helpless and innocent child deserves more than a one word, closed ended response (ie; SATAN! End of discussion... GUNS! End of discussion... MEDIA! End of discussion... ). There has to be more to the reason and more to our plan of action than that, because well, there's certainly going to be more to this shooting than just what went on that one day. I know those children are safe now, but the surviving children that saw...
I'm going to need to tack on some extra time to my prayers regarding what happened last Friday; especially in the thankfulness department because God is in control (Isaiah 59:1), but He doesn't promise tomorrow (James 4:13).

# 0022: Perpetual Optimism

The other day, we were pulling out of the driveway on our way to preschool. I had rushed everyone out the door and into the car, threw that old V-8 in reverse and backed out of the garage into a very bright and beautiful morning. I wasn't in a bad mood or anything, just rushed. I noticed the sun was bright, but I didn't notice how pretty it was shining in a bright blue sky. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes and nearly peeled out of the driveway as my preschooler from the backseat said, "This is going to be the best day ever! OH! What a beautiful day!"
Now sometimes this girl is a little over the top, but nonetheless she is genuine and I couldn't help but laugh a little as soon as she said it. Then, I looked around for a minute as I tore down our gravel road. She was right! It really was a beautiful morning. I noticed it more and more on the way into town. The sun was really pretty shining through the trees we passed and this one hay field in particular was just really gorgeous. I'm not a morning person, but I love the morning sun when I do get to see it.
I was extremely thankful that morning for that little preschool girl and her perpetual optimism. I would have missed out on a lot had I chosen to ignore her or what if she hadn't said it at all?
I quickly agreed with her and pointed out some of the beautiful sights that I was seeing. However, I don't know if she noticed them or not as this precious, happy little moment was cut off abruptly with an annoyed, "WHAT?! MAMA- I CAN"T HEAR YOU!" from the backseat. That V-8 is LOUD!

Later, I came across this:

"I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities. I am not, by accident in your life. Incredible or unbelievable as this may sound, I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life. Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love." -Bruce Scott

So, that's pretty true. I do love taking them to "activities", teaching them "raising" them. Those things are all blessings to me, but how often do I slow down enough to really see the gift they are to me just by being here and being themselves. I love that little girl's optimism and BONUS: I love her just being here with me and being herself. I think we can all imagine our lives with less laundry, but I can't imagine my life without these little moments.

# 0021: Being the Rescue Mom

A few weeks ago, I was picking our girl up from preschool. The preschool director was babysitting a little 10 month old girl in her car seat while her mother went to do something with her older boy. The 10 month old cried the whole time she sat there looking at the preschool director she really didn't know. The mother got back and apologized for the 10 month old crying the whole time. Of course, the preschool director didn't mind- she has kids and grand kids of her own. The mother told how this past weekend they were visiting grandparents and she thinks that her own mother's feeling were hurt because the 10 month old granddaughter wouldn't have anything to do with her grandma- she only wanted her mama. The mother explained that she stays home with the girl and that's probably the reason for the attachment issues. I quickly added that the attachment were a good thing and that "mama is always going  to be number one".

Later that afternoon (completely unrelated to what was discussed at preschool), I remembered how I used to keep a journal, sort of, of the kid's first few weeks. I have 13 entries for our first baby, 3 for the second and at weeks, the third baby didn't have a single entry, yet. So, I sat down and started one. Then I looked through the old ones. Here's an excerpt from an entry when our first baby was about six months old:

"Over the Fourth of July weekend, she got very tired and it was very hot in some places, but she just didn’t want to be held by very many people that weren’t Mommy. I think people were kind of annoyed by it, but I secretly liked it. It was the first time she reached and lunged for me. She also would turn away from other people and bury her little head in my shoulder."

Ha ha ha ha ha! I like the part where I say that I secretly liked it! I loved it! Who doesn't like being the one a baby lunges for and wants? And besides that, wouldn't be a little odd if a little baby didn't care anything about going to its mother? The time will come soon enough when they wont want to leave grandma's house. I love that I have and have had such good relationships with my babies and time to form an attachment with them at these young ages when it matters. Also, I love rescuing them out of a completely harmless relative's arms!

Always The Mom...

I have kind of a rant to go off on. A few weeks ago, I read an article on BabyCenter.com called, "Why are men just men, while women are moms?" about how men are always introduced first as men and what they do where as women, no matter what they do are introduced as a mother first and then are recognized for their accomplishment. People seem to have a problem with this double standard. This was my response:

"Why is this a problem that working women are Introduced as mothers or grandmothers first? I’m glad that people are still interested in the family side of someone.

The family should be first no matter who you are or what you do, so how could it be insulting or considered a set back of any kind when no matter the achievement, people want to know about a person’s family life?
I understand some people have a problem with the double standard; men being men first, not fathers. Isn’t that just the nature of the beast, so to speak? I mean, you don’t hear dads crying around about how little is spent on Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day. Aren’t fathers just as important to the healthy development of a child as a mother is yet the fsther’s day cards being sent, the long distance calls beung made are fewer and much farther between.
News flash: males and females are wired different. It’s a proven scientific fact. Boys and girls, husbands and wives, moms and dads- different. There will always be a “gender gap”. Thank goodness for that! Women’s lives would be so boring without the men and men’s lives would be so boring without the women.
Let me reiterate the fact that no matter what you achieve or who you become to the rest if the world, you are first a mom in the eyes of that child (who will always only have one mom). Nothing will ever be more important to that child than what you did for him or her at home as the mom first. It’s a good thing! Be thankful!"

I honestly don't see the problem with being known as a mom first. It's the most important title you'll ever hold and the most irreplacable position. Anybody could walk out of their job tomorrow and they'd be replaced in less than a week. But you can never be replaced at home. That position will always be filled even if the worst happens. The value of a mother to her child far exceeds her worth anywhere else. I would take it as a huge compliment to be mentioned as the mom and then the whatever. 

P.S: Even if you are the Queen of England- you are still known as the "Queen MOTHER". Just sayin'.

# 0020: Little Wrestlers

I love watching my kids wrestle with their dad. Dads are so good at wrestling and rough housing in general. the whole house seems so loud when their wrestling and tickling and squealing and screaming and laughing. I love to watch them get so excited and into it. They love being tossed around and dragged back in by their feet. I love seeing them laugh so hard that my husband has to stop tickling for just a minute so they can catch their breaths. It's like the ultimate in excitement for them. They don't know what's going to happen next.
I'm very thankful that my kids have a dad who is around and able to wrestle rough house with them. Pregnant mamas and postpartum, breast feeding mamas holding newborns are the best for wrestling matches. ...Unless you're talking thumb wrestling... Which is great to help young kids developing fine motor skills!

Also, regular old livingroom floor wrestling is good for kids, too says this article about the book, "The Art of Roughhousing". (I read the article- not the book, yet.)

# 0019: When a Baby Feels Safe

We had a newborn a little more than a month ago. He is the most calm, quiet, relaxed baby that I've ever had! He has cried a few times. He acts so scared when he's crying, not mad. I love it when I finally get to him to pick him up and as soon as I touch him he's quiet again. I love it. He stops crying and gets this look of peace on his face instantly. Were my other two like that? ...mmmmmmm... not exactly... not this extent... This new guy can be laying in his crib at night and get restless with his arms kind of flying all over the place and all I have to do is put my hand on his little chest and he's still again. Awesome! The power of a mom! Ha!

Here is an interesting article on a mother's touch: "A mother's touch: Study shows maternal stimuli can improve cognitive function, stress resilience".

# 0018: Closet Readers

I don't know why closets have become so exciting to my kids lately, but closets are the "thing" around here. They love to hide out in them. They are camp sites, hide outs, houses and I guess, libraries, also. 

I love how they go in there with pillows and stacks of books. I wont see them for an hour or more- lol! I love that they can be so content just sitting there looking at books in a closet. And I love that they thought of that as a fun and new way to look at books... in a closet... 

More often than not, our closets are elevators that will take the kids to different part of the house as well as France and "Fun-Land".

Here's a book my mom told me about: "Toddler Play" by Gymboree. Apparently Gymboree has several titles like this. There is also "Baby Play" and "Baby & Toddler Play". They are described as books to "help your child learn through play, to stimulate imaginations, build vocabulary, to maximize your child's potential and more". I have not read a one of them, yet! But they look like they would probably be good and would make a good baby shower gift or a baby's first Christmas gift. Basically, it seems like the books are encouraging parents to use their imaginations to teach their children how to use theirs.

# 0017: Reminiscing with Experienced Parents

A few weeks ago, an older couple, who sit behind us at church, had some new recliners delivered to their house in two great big boxes. Once they emptied the boxes, they immediately started reminiscing about when their FIVE children were little and how much they loved watching and playing with them in big boxes like that; making houses, painting flowers, cutting doors, eating snacks in them... and so on. They couldn't imagine throwing them away without asking me first, if I thought our kids would like them.
"Of course!"- was my answer. We made a two bedroom box house and the kids colored all over it. They had a great time! The boxes were so big, we couldn't fit them through our doorway so we played in them outside.
Another great thing about boxes- you can throw them away when your done with them!
Who doesn't love a cardboard box house? I do!
I also love being able to relate to older parents like that- parents who truly loved and enjoyed their children's childhoods and now are able to reminisce fondly. I'm sure their kids can share with them the same fond memories. Listening to them reminisce puts things into perspective for me. It's another thing for me to strive for- creating memories with my kids right now that they will have still when they become adults. I hope they will be able to look back on their childhoods and have lots of good memories like that; memories that we made together.
I'm thankful for this older couple at church who helped me out with a fun day of creating box houses as well as reminding me what fun kids can have with such a simple thing. I loved hearing stories about their kids and how they played with them in their box houses.



Have you seen this? http://cainesarcade.com/ -about the 9 year old kid who made a cardboard arcade while he was stuck at work with his dad during the summer? Moral of the story: he didn't sit around and let himself be bored. Also, his dad wasn't constantly making sure he was entertained, stimulated or involved in something.

# 0016: Big Hugs

My great grandpa LB used to tell us kids to hug his neck. So, we'd get over there and wrap our arms around his neck as tight as we could. I love a good neck hug!
My little boy gives the best neck hugs! He really hangs on tight and clasps his hands together behind you. He also gives great leg hugs wrapping his arms all the way around your knees. Then he lays his head down to snuggle and says, "mmmmmmmmmmm."
He readily gives them out when asked, but of course the best ones are the ones he gives on his own volition! I wander what he's thinking. Does he just think this other person needs a hug or is he just suddenly compelled to hug? I don't know, but I love big hugs from little arms! 
We are very blessed that we can hug each other anytime of the day for any reason whenever. I love being here to be on the receiving end and the giving end of those big hugs from little arms. One day, they will become fewer and fewer so I don't want to miss even one.
Personally, I believe what they say about needing so many hugs a day for your health, even though I'm not a big hugger. So, I try to make it a New Year's resolution every year to hug more. True...
Also, here is an article about the importance of hugging (this touchy- feely stuff makes me feel like dang Care Bear): Have You Hugged Anyone Lately?

# 0015: Siblings Hugging

Our nearly two year old doesn't say the word "sorry" yet. However, sometimes he does things that he is sorry for. And sometimes he does things that we think he needs to be sorry for. That's when hugs come in.

He's a boy and sometimes he can be kind of destructive or just a little rough. It's hard not to laugh sometimes, but he might randomly just go over and stomp on his sister's fingers while she's coloring. I'm laughing as I type this. It's so out of nowhere- I don't know why he would do that! Anyway, I have to get onto him and make him apologize. He immediately apologizes with a hug around her neck and moves on. If she hurts him, it's the same thing; hugs and moves on. I know we've made them do this, but it's still cute to watch.
My favorite, though is when they hug with no prompting from anyone usually after they haven't see each other in a day or so. I love watching siblings get along- laughing, playing and hugging!

# 0014: Being Humbled

The other day, my oldest told me about a little girl in her class who was sitting all alone, looking sad during recess. My daughter told me she walked over to the girl and asked her something along the lines of what she was doing. She didn't ask what was wrong, just what was up. The little girl told her that she was sad because no one would play with her. Then, she proceeded to name off all the kids who wouldn't play with her. My daughter said, "well, I'll play with you." When they started playing, another girl came over and started playing with them, too.

As her mother, I was immediately very proud of my girl. I had to ask myself over and over, though, "how did she know to do that? How did she know to care like that? How did she know to go over to this sad little girl in the first place, listen to what she had to say and then do something about it? Where did she get that?"
If it was anyone else, but me asking me those questions I'd say without hesitation, "home! She learned that from watching or listening to you, mom! Congratulations, you are teaching compassion!"
But it's me! And I have to ask myself, would I have done what my daughter did or even saw the need in the first place? When did we teach her that? I don't remember. Did we read about it in a book or something? Maybe she got it from Sunday school? We're not around a lot of other kids all the time. This two-days-a-week preschool is our first time around other kids on a regular basis (except swim lessons and gymnastics from time to time). She's the oldest at church and on both sides if the family by more than a few years.
I'm just as proud as I can be of her, but I can't take the credit. It's not like when someone comes up to us at a restaurant to tell me how well behaved the kids are or how the Parents as Teachers educators will remark how its obvious that "someone has been working with her". No, this is her. This is my daughter and her heavenly father's handiwork. If I'm going to take any credit it would be that I haven't screwed up yet, what He has started in her.
Somehow, my husband and I have provided experiences, people, examples and don't ask me what else that has nurtured some compassion and thoughtfulness in her, but I sure couldn't write a book about it!
This story she told me made me so proud of her, and at the same time reminded me that I don't know all the answers to this parenting game. It's a good thing to be reminded of that from time to time... or everyday... whatever. I love being humbled in this way. It not only reminds me that I don't have all the answers, but more importantly shows me who does. If we just keep on loving these little people He gave us with our time, attention, and patience I'm confident He will do the rest- the hard stuff.

# 0013: The Number 8

This past summer, me and the girl played "school" nearly every morning for about 30 minutes. We were practicing for preschool. We said the pledge, the ABCs, we counted, we recited the months of the year, seasons, days of the week and the continents and oceans. Then she practiced writing letters and numbers. We might do a puzzle, a maze or a dot-to-dot. I bought a workbook thing at the dollar store that we would work in sometimes. I feel the home school parents judging me right now... I didn't know what else to do!!!! -just kidding- Anyway, she really enjoyed it. I also, really enjoyed it. I enjoy teaching my kids things. It turns out; I really, really, super enjoy watching them learn things! 

Someone told me once that a home school parent had told them about how exciting it was watching their kid learn to read. They were there- right there- when it finally clicked with him and he got it and they did it together! 

Well, me and the girl didn't get that far with our reading skills and I didn't plan to either, but I sort of got that experience with the number eight. Tracing numbers one through five were easy-peasy. Then, we moved on to six through ten and things got a little trickier. The 6 has to go the right way and so does the 9. While you're at it, remember to write the 1 first then, the zero immediately after for ten. She dreaded the 8. I held her hand and traced it a few times with her. It was slow going. Sometimes she would skip over it and do it last. Sometimes she would do it first to get it out of the way. I kept telling her how fun the 8 is to draw. It's one single motion without lifting your pen up at all and then all of the sudden you've made an 8 (I seriously do like to draw 8s)! Then, one day, without warning, she got it! With no help or anything she drew the number 8! She was so happy and admitted immediately that, yes, drawing 8s IS fun! She was so please and proud of herself she was ready to write several more.

I don't imagine I'll be there for every light bulb that goes off in her head, but I will always remember this one. 

# 0012: The Cat in the Hat

I never knew how good I was at reading The Cat in the Hat until just a few years ago. I love that book! And The Cat in the Hat Comes Back is not too bad either. Although, not being able to just wash the "big, long, thin, pink, cat ring" in the tub down the drain is a little far fetched I think. Still, I realize the plot must be advanced somehow!

I love reading The Cat in the Hat! And like I said, I think I'm really good at it. So good, in fact, that sometimes I imagine I'm reading to a room full of Ronald McDonald House families or a library group. True...
Obviously, I'm a hit with somebody out there. Two somebodies to be specific. You know I must be doing something right or else I wouldn't have nearly all 62 pages memorized! Boo ya!
I love reading to the kids because we snuggle up close on the couch or the recliner and they will gladly sit and read forever! They pick out the books themselves and are excited to hear them. However, there are some I'm not real crazy about reading. Fox in Socks- that book wears me out!

# 0011: Taking pictures of my kids

I love taking pictures of my kids! I'm no pro, but I believe I have gotten better over time. I don't try and pose them up too often. That almost never works for us and is almost always frustrating. That's okay with me, though. I love the natural shots of them just doing what they do.

This is my camera- except, yes- with a neck strap... dork...

I never thought I'd be one of those parents with a camera hanging around my neck and in my kids' faces at every little event, but here I am! I wonder if I will look back later and wonder if I took too many, but how else is a person suppossed to remember every little, different facial expression their makes?

Book Review: Bringing up Girls

I had a friend recommend James Dobson's Bringing Up Girls to me a few months ago. I checked it out from the library and bought a couple copies as baby shower gifts for other friends I knew that were having girls.

My Initial Thoughts:
Good, but kind of rambling in some parts. I know that most women don't mind the rambling or extra anticdotes, but I can't expect the hubs to read it if there's too much not-getting-right-to-the-point with absolutely NO redundancy!
I also, think that his earlier stuff is probably better than his most recent. I feel like he gets right to the point and minces no words in the older stuff. It seems like in his more recent books he kind of tip toes up to his point and almost (not quite, but almost) apologizes for it.

My Favorite Parts: 
Dobson put in a quote from John Adams that I super love: "From all that I read of History of Government, of human life, and manners, I [have] drawn this conclusion, that the manners of women [are] the most infallible Barometer, to ascertain the degree of Morality and Virtue in a Nation. All that I have since read and all the observation I have made in different Nations, have confirmed me in this opinion. The Manners of Women, are the surest Criterion by which to determine whether a Republican Government is practicable, in a Nation or not. The Jews, the Greeks, the Romans, the Swiss, the Dutch, all lost their public Spirit, their Republican principals and habits, and their Republican Forms of Government when they lost their Modesty and Domestic Virtues of their women...
The foundations of national Morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are School, Academies and universities instituted if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of youth."
Wow! I love that quote. It's so right on. If you ever think there is something more important than investing in your own kids just think of the entire nation!

Dobson writes a couple chapters specifically for dads that are pretty good. Quick summery: tell your girl she's pretty and take her out on "dates" once in a while.

He also mentions the Culture War which he calls the "River of Culture" that youth are getting swept up in. I know no one really wants to talk about this anymore, but we should. It's almost taboo to speak against anything on TV. And if you say anything about how dirty it is, how it's all crap or how you just don't watch it anymore you sound like a snob or a grandma. There are plenty of articles out there about how many sex and violent images young kids will see in a lifetime, yet the TV remains constantly turned on- see? I sounded like a prude right there. Well, I think TV is nothing but a big brainwashing box! And right there? -a hateful, crazy radical! Anyhoo...

Dobson mentions a book by Joe McIlhaney, MD and Freda McKissic, MD called Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children. It sounds really interesting to me. I like it when man finds through proven facts that God's word was right all along. Meanwhile, we've got things like this and that going on making it harder to guide adolescent girls down the "River of Culture".

Overall: I thought it was a good book to read if you really want to understand how your daughter's mind works and want a reminder of the kind of world our girls are exposed to everyday. It gives some encouragement to be proactive in deciding how we want to parent in the years to come.
It's always easier to make sober decisions ahead of time instead of in the moment. If you wait till the moment is upon you, you may be too rushed or you may let other circumstances make the decision for you. Also, I'm afraid those "moments" in the future will be more and more sticky with more and more people caring less and less about the values I want to instill in my daughter. Isn't there a Refrigerator magnet that says, "if it is to be, it's up to me."?

# 0010: "Warm with Sleep"

"Warm with Sleep" -I love reading that phrase because I know exactly what the author is saying. Who doesn't love being there right when a little baby or even a big kid wakes up from a nap. They are "warm with sleep". How else can you convey that to a reader? Whether they were bundled or covered up or not, their little bodies are so warm and some of them still have a little bit more cuddle left to them (depending on the age, of course).
Alot of the time I am downstairs when my kids wake up and they come down to find me. Their little cheeks are still red and they've got an arm load of toys with them.
I should be up there more often to watch them wake up. Seeing your kids when they first wake up from anything is definitely an experience! Lately, they have been waking me up!

It seems like everybody posts on Facebook when their kids are sick that they hate it when their kids are sick, but on the brightside, they dig the snuggling. Well, there's a way to get some suggle time without the antibiotics. Be there when they wake up and hang out for a few minutes.

# 0009: Underfoot

Some days it seems like kids do this best; they are underfoot, clingy, attached, in your bubble and you are trying to think of anything that sounds nicer than, "Get out of my way!" You think, "Geeze, if I could just move a few feet without herding little bodies in front of my and dodging little feet and legs!" They are underfoot.

Why do I love this when I just shared my complaining thoughts about children being underfoot? Well, I love it because they are HERE, they are THERE, they are WHERE I AM and I am right there WHERE THEY ARE.
They are watching me work. They are there to watch and learn. They are taking it all in; everything I do. They are watching me be patient with their siblings... or not... they are watching me use the keyboard on the computer. They are watching me design. They are watching me mop. They are watching me push buttons on the dishwasher. They are listening to me talk on the phone. They are watching me pull the trash bin back to the house. They are watching me vacuum out the car (that has happened... this one time...). They are watching me paint. They are watching me fix dinner.

I love them being underfoot because it means they are being apart of my world. At this age, especially, they want to be apart of my world and I certainly want them to want that. I want them to know me. I want them to know that I want them around. They are learning from me and we are doing things together as a family. Some of the things are mundane or may seem mundane to you, but it's not to a small child. I have recently learned that my nearly two year old loves to help with the laundry. I hear his little feet slapping the tile floor on his way to the laundry room to throw the dirty clothes in and earn his reward of pushing the buttons and watching it start spinning.
Of course, It's always easier to get things done when they're not underfoot. Things go faster and smoother, but if they're not up in your grill how else will they learn? How else will they learn about the adult world when they are constantly shoved out of the way? I realize some things are dangerous, some things just need to get done faster and sometimes you think they'd have more fun someplace else. However, that last one is NEVER true! We really, truly have no idea how much our kids want nothing more than to be around their mom and dad. I always think of this quote from THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS by Dr. Meg Meeker, "If every mother in the United States could wrap her mind around her true value as a woman and mother, her life would never be the same. We would wake up every morning excited for the day rather than feeling as though we'd been hit by a truck during the night. We would talk differently to our kids, fret less about our husbands' annoying habits, and speak with greater tenderness and clarity. We would find more contentment in our relationships, let mean remarks roll off our backs, and leave work feeling confident in the job we performed. And best of all--we wouldn't obsess about our weight (can you imagine?), physical fitness, or what kind of home we live in. We would live a life free from superficial needs because we would know deep in our hearts what we need and, more importantly, what we don't need. Each of us would live a life of extraordinary freedom."

Mostly what I get from that quote is that we as parents have no idea how much we as moms and dads mean to our kids, how much our kids think of us and love us... even at our worst... there is something humbling right there.
So, I love my kids being underfoot, being there, being with me (who they want to be with), and learning a little about the adult world while they're little and (not to be redundant but,) with me; together; being a family.





Here are some links about kids in the kitchen: Teaching Your Child to Cook and A Child's Place is in the Kitchen

Why do I feel like Chris Farely in that Herlihy Boy House Sitting skit he did with Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live? "Please!!! Let the kids watch you water your plants!!! Please!!! Whay wont you just let them watch you cook dinner??!!"

# 0008: My Boy

Have I mentioned how much I love my boy? I think he is the neatest thing! I've never met anyone like him! I don't want to rub it in, but I love having boy(s) and girl(s). They are soooooo different and I love getting to see those differences every day, up close and personal. 

Boys do the funniest things that you could never imagine anyone doing. They are like a completely different breed of people to me! I love being the mother of a son. It's like no other experience. I know I'm only a couple years into it. I know it will be a roller coaster and I know this partly because it already has been.

I feel like moms sometimes treat raising sons as a major challenge- kind of the same way some dads feel about raising daughters. My brother had a friend who was raised in a house full of boys, no sisters. Before his wife gave birth to their first daughter (and now set of twin girls), he made the comment, "I mean, what if it's a girl? Can you imagine that? What do you do them?"

Sometimes it feels like the opposite sex is so completely opposite that there would be no way to relate or even come close to trying to understand their thinking or "why they would act that way". Dads generally do not know what to do when there is a girl crying. They might ask, "why," but sometimes the girl doesn't even know. I know men are completely lost when this sort of thing happens and I know women are completely lost when boys do something seemingly insane to the thought process of a female. 

It can be a bit of a challenge to raise the opposite sex. It requires some more patience and understanding and acceptance. Those things are challenging to get a handle on sometimes. I always think of my boy as just a little man. They're all just little men. They all think cars are neat, take silly risks, talk, growl, or grunt really loud, like being a hero, a little wild and crazy, don't care if their hands are dirty, don't look before they leap and yes, I know these are all stereotypes... I'm not saying that every boy fits into these characteristics exactly, but it's a scientific fact that the male mind is wired completely differently from the female's mind (it happens very early in the womb before we can see any outside evidence of gender). 

Since we are so different, we really only have two choices: To completely give up and disconnect to the point that we barely have a relationship or enjoy every surprise twist and turn there is. The things my boy does, I couldn't see coming in a million years! It's the same with his dad. The opposite sex brings some exciting stuff into our lives- stuff we would never think of without them here. They are extremly valuable!

It amazes me everyday how this boy can give the greatest, most loving hugs ever one minute and the next he's asking me if it's okay to eat a worm. He sits completely still and silent, snuggling while we read a bunch of books he picked out then the second the last book is over he's on the floor crashing his cars into one another. He's eating like a field hand one minute and the next he's completely passed out and nothing can wake him. One moment he's shaking his head furiously at his sister, shouting and growling as loud as he can, but as soon as she says she's sorry and gives him a hug she's more than welcome to play with him again. 

I had a friend wonder out loud about a little 3-year-old boy she knew and if a kid that small could be "bi-polar or something". Of course, I don't have any idea- I would have to guess, though, that it's just a little boy growing up in a world that operates completely differently to how he thinks. Example: hugs are acceptable. Eating worms is not.

I've barely gotten started being a mom to a boy, but I can tell you that it is fun. My boy is sweet before and after his temper tantrums. He's funny whether he means to be or not. He's wild, loud and crazy and still, quiet and thoughtful. He's loving while he's determined and all business. He's a mixed bag!... but, I think that fathers of daughters would say that same thing about their girls. You never know what you're going to get with the opposite sex but, ya-gotta-love-it!

# 0007: Playgrounds

I love how excited kids get about playgrounds! All smiles! And they run as fast as they can to the slides, the jungle gyms, the swings, the- whatever is their favorite! Then, they proceed to do the same thing over and over and over again.
And usually... usually... if you are there long enough... when you say it's time to go and give them some transitionary warning like "one more slide", "5 more minutes", or "time to tell the park 'bye!'" you can get out of there without a screaming "I'm not ready to go" fit because they're so wore out from running, playing and climbing... usually...
I love how they remember the playgrounds when you drive by them. They talk about the playground. They tell stories about the playground. They even like to look at pictures of playgrounds! They would love to try a new playground out like every week if they could.

Even at Disney World in Hollywood studios- that Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground is a hit! It's busy all the time! And that's a 23 year old movie! It's a super cool playground, though.
Also, it doesn't matter what time of year it is. Kids are more than happy to bundle up and play out on a freezing cold jungle gym.
I really love watching their they're faces as they run to the slides. They almost look more excited than on Christmas morning!
Here's a link to Yahoo's "5 Coolest playgrounds in the US"
Also, here's a link to an article asking if playgrounds are too safe aka, lame and if there should be more risk involved in playing on a playground: Have playgrounds become too safe for kids?
Note to self: It may be a good idea to schedule some playground/ park time into long distance car rides.

# 0006: Inconsistencies

"They" always tell you to, "be consistent! You have to be consistent in your disciplining!" I know that is true. However, if something is consistently not working, you are the parent. You get to change your disciplinary measures the very next day if you deem it necessary. It's not like a school or other public institution that has to maintain a standard for every boy and girl no matter what.
Today, however, I'm thinking about the inconsistencies that go on in my own head. 
For some lazy reason I sat and watched my nearly 2 year old son head up stairs, alone, with an uncapped ink pen. It wasn't long before his sister came down and reported that he had drawn on the wall. I was not surprised. Why would I have given him that pen? 
The same thing happened a few years back with his sister. I had left an ink pen out on the table. I'm not sure how long it took me to notice her undeniable handiwork on my lamp shade. 

In both of these incidents I had enabled these children. Of course, we only draw in paper, but they are little people, brand new to the world. How are they to really comprehend why it matters to only draw on pieces of paper? And if there's no paper out, what makes an appropriate substitute? I truely don't believe they know, yet. However, it is our job to teach them- otherwise they would never know.
In both of these cases, I was lazy and then I was extremely irritated at the mess I would have to clean up  because of my own laziness. Still, I would have to get on to the little artists in some way to let them know that we only draw on paper and nothing else! The trouble is that, also in both instances I was really impressed with their art work. The girl (who was older than the boy at the time) had drawn penguins all over the lampshade. The boy had drawn very well, some very straight up and down lines on his wall.
I was torn in both instances on what to do. I really wanted to tell them what a great job they did, but I knew this was not the time, so they got scolded instead.
My mind finds this to be so inconsistent. How can I be proud and mad at the same time? I guess that's one thing I love about being a mom- it's complicated. Every day can be complicated, but I'm the one who takes these complications and gets to figure out what to do with them. Some may see it as cut and dry (the kid drew on the wall. C'mon, it's a no brainer), but I love to take the time to put myself in that little head and wonder how he/ she sees it. They always see the world totally differently than big people. No, I don't always take the time to do that, but it's fun when I do. I should do it more often! 
I'm the one that makes the decision to scold, punish, but more importantly teach them how to act with a ready and available ink pen. I'm also the one that gets to give them a hug and kiss, then sit down with them and a clean sheet of paper to draw to our heart's content.

Why 5,001 Reasons?

Because we all need another pat on the back, another pick me up, another reminder of why we do what we do... Because there are too many snide comments, "I don't cares" and Nay Sayers out there.

I've been a mom for nearly 5 years and what a crazy new world it is every day! Has it been easy every day? No, not so much. Have I loved every minute of it? Yeah, I think I have. Does that sound contrived? When I think back on all the "hard stuff", I may not have enjoyed every second, but I love that I was there. There is something to love about the challenges and the difficulties. It's hard to see when you're in the moment, but talk to someone who is 20 years, 40 years, 50 years removed for some real perspective.
Also, I'll admit I'm spoiled. We all have adorable kids that make it all worth it, but I also have a very supportive and encouraging husband, family, friends and a God who I can talk to anytime and who wrote out a whole book for me to follow. These are very positive and encouraging relationships for me.

I realize that not everyone has this kind of support. Not everyone has grandmothers or grandmother figures in their lives to give them perspective on the challenges of today and how those challenges bring about the fruits of tomorrow. Not everyone has that ray of sunshine in their lives that will point out the good points or the humorous points of a rough day (at the right time). Not only do many parents not get this kind of support and encouragement, they sometimes don't get any! But what's worse is that we all get a big load of discouragement from the world we live in. Did you know that there are people who push the idea that mothers don't matter, dads are useless and parenting in general doesn't really affect how a kid grows up. Of course, that is ridiculous and there are countless studies that disprove that line of thinking entirely, but still, it is damaging if you hear, even a watered down version of it. 

So, I want to combat some of that discouragement by reminding myself and others of the little things we do as families that are vitally important to our sons and daughters; their lives now and their futures. 
Who knows how long it will take me to get to 5,001 reasons I love being mom. I know I'll never get there if I don't stay positive and focused on the little-big responsibilities that God has given me. He chose me to be the mom for a reason.

# 0005: Going Out to Eat with My Kids

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Aaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Why?????

Do you ever feel like you are on display for all to see when you go out to eat with your kids? Like you are the entertainment for the evening?

You're up and down coutless times for bathroom breaks, maybe you forgot a sippy cup or diaper in the car, and, of course diciplinary measures... and forget about getting comfortable if there is any sort of salad bar or buffet involved!

The table is a mess, littered with napkins, straw wrappers, crayons, pieces of food, toys, extra cups, and probably toys.

But!!!!! It is a good thing!

It's a chance to teach manners in a new and different place. It's like your high school basketball team at an away game. Can we win even if we don't have the home court advantage?

You're maybe testing out new foods that you don't usually cook at home. It's not just a change of scenery, but also a change of taste. You may even discover that kids are more likely to try something new in a place that's new. Which can then open the doors to try these same foods at our own home.

It's something special (as long as you don't do it all the time) that makes them feel special (as long as you don't do it all the time). As long as you don't do it all the time, you're communicating, "We are taking you guys out to eat because we want to do something special and different as a family."

Personally, I would not want to go out to eat all the time, period. Personally, I'm a cheap skate and can't stand wasting that much money every day. I also, think you eat healthier at home. Most importantly, I think you have better conversations at home. Here is an interesting link to an article from TIME called The Magic of the Family Meal By Nancy Gibbs. It contains such quotes and statistics as, "A meal is about civilizing children. It's about teaching them to be a member of their culture." and "...kids who eat most often with their parents are 40% more likely to say they get mainly A's and B's in school than kids who have two or fewer family dinners a week."

# 0004: FEET!!!!!!

I absolutely LOVE baby, toddler, little kid FEET! I love to hold their feet in my hands and kiss 'em and tickle 'em and pretend I'm a ravenous monster scarfin' 'em down!
Their feet are so soft and meaty, not weird lookin' at all! A word of warnin' to ya, they can be dirty and smelly. However, one of the best things about these miniature hooves is this: when kissing, tickling, pretending to devour them , they are always accompanied by loads of shrieks, grins and giggles. It doesn't matter if their owners have just fallen and gotten hurt or if they're getting a diaper changed; the feet are adorable and the their owners love foot affection!

# 0003: Puzzled

Two year olds L-O-V-E puzzles! Need a great gift idea for a two year old? Puzzles! Age appropriate puzzles! Remember the old school cardboard frame tray puzzles? They are not easy to find in stores. We ordered all of ours off eBay. We got some larger and small Disney themed puzzles. (They also worked great as potty training prizes.)

I love doing puzzles with the kids! It is so much fun to watch them think. You can see the little wheels in their heads turning. They try different spots... then, they finally get their piece in the right place and you can see they're faces light up at how proud thy are of themselves. And you get to heap the praise on them as well. Then, they very quickly move on to the next piece because they ARE ON A MISSION! I love how focused they are on completing these puzzles.

I love spending time together in this way. I enjoy watching them concentrate. I enjoy working with them and taking turns. I enjoy encouraging them, showing them patience, and telling them how awesome they are at doing puzzles. I enjoy giving them undivided attention during the completion of the puzzle. You have to do a puzzle with nothing else going on. It's so much more fun and enjoyable for everybody.

I've tried to play extreme puzzle madness where you dump out all your puzzles, mix up all the pieces and then see how fast you can put all of them back together. No one has been too into that... Yet!

# 0002: Toys in my Bed

I love waking up to toys in my bed. It's such a colorful way to start the morning. And Sheriff Woody's hand being rammed up my nose is a sure-fire way to get me up and about!

# 0001: Praying with My Kids

There is so much I love about praying with my kids! And there is so much to say about praying with little kids and soooooo many stories about bedtime prayers, supper time prayers, church time prayers, anytime prayers... I know I'll come back to this reason of why I love being a mom numerous times so I'm just going to start here with a short list:

Makes me think of Dr. Suess's, I Can Read with my Eyes Shut!

1. I love watching the newbies (the toddlers just learning to pray with the family) slapping their hands together, clasping them tightly with their little fingers pointed upstairs and I especially love their eyes shutting as tight as they can possibly go with these funny little grins on their faces. It has to be a short prayer for them to last all the way through like that!
2. I love when the babies think you're asleep in church and they try to pry your eyes open during prayer.
3. I love the EXTREMELY sweet prayers of a 3 year old (or 4 year old, or 5 or 6 or on up). It is amazing the simple sweetness that comes out of their mouths. Basically, the fact that this completely innocent little child is talking to God makes anything they say precious.
4. I love the EXTREMELY weird stuff that 3 year olds (or 4 year old, or 5 or 6 or on up) say in their prayers! That stuff is hilarious! It's golden! We should all get together and compile a book!

I'm so thankful that my husband and I can teach our kids about prayer together and have made it a daily priority. These 4 reasons I've listed as to why I love praying with my kids are fleeting- they are reasons for the here and now. I hope that in 10 years, 15 years and 20 years I can list a whole new set of reasons I love praying and will have loved praying with my kids. There is a bigger picture in all we do with our kids. The results will be in before we know it.


Here is Mosses telling the children of Israel in Deuteronomy 6 to take advantage of every chance they have to teach their kiddos about the Lord's commandments; talk about God's word when you walk along the road, when you go to bed, when you get up in the morning, write it down to take it with you, keep it near you all the time to focus on it:
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."