# 0013: The Number 8

This past summer, me and the girl played "school" nearly every morning for about 30 minutes. We were practicing for preschool. We said the pledge, the ABCs, we counted, we recited the months of the year, seasons, days of the week and the continents and oceans. Then she practiced writing letters and numbers. We might do a puzzle, a maze or a dot-to-dot. I bought a workbook thing at the dollar store that we would work in sometimes. I feel the home school parents judging me right now... I didn't know what else to do!!!! -just kidding- Anyway, she really enjoyed it. I also, really enjoyed it. I enjoy teaching my kids things. It turns out; I really, really, super enjoy watching them learn things! 

Someone told me once that a home school parent had told them about how exciting it was watching their kid learn to read. They were there- right there- when it finally clicked with him and he got it and they did it together! 

Well, me and the girl didn't get that far with our reading skills and I didn't plan to either, but I sort of got that experience with the number eight. Tracing numbers one through five were easy-peasy. Then, we moved on to six through ten and things got a little trickier. The 6 has to go the right way and so does the 9. While you're at it, remember to write the 1 first then, the zero immediately after for ten. She dreaded the 8. I held her hand and traced it a few times with her. It was slow going. Sometimes she would skip over it and do it last. Sometimes she would do it first to get it out of the way. I kept telling her how fun the 8 is to draw. It's one single motion without lifting your pen up at all and then all of the sudden you've made an 8 (I seriously do like to draw 8s)! Then, one day, without warning, she got it! With no help or anything she drew the number 8! She was so happy and admitted immediately that, yes, drawing 8s IS fun! She was so please and proud of herself she was ready to write several more.

I don't imagine I'll be there for every light bulb that goes off in her head, but I will always remember this one. 

# 0012: The Cat in the Hat

I never knew how good I was at reading The Cat in the Hat until just a few years ago. I love that book! And The Cat in the Hat Comes Back is not too bad either. Although, not being able to just wash the "big, long, thin, pink, cat ring" in the tub down the drain is a little far fetched I think. Still, I realize the plot must be advanced somehow!

I love reading The Cat in the Hat! And like I said, I think I'm really good at it. So good, in fact, that sometimes I imagine I'm reading to a room full of Ronald McDonald House families or a library group. True...
Obviously, I'm a hit with somebody out there. Two somebodies to be specific. You know I must be doing something right or else I wouldn't have nearly all 62 pages memorized! Boo ya!
I love reading to the kids because we snuggle up close on the couch or the recliner and they will gladly sit and read forever! They pick out the books themselves and are excited to hear them. However, there are some I'm not real crazy about reading. Fox in Socks- that book wears me out!

# 0011: Taking pictures of my kids

I love taking pictures of my kids! I'm no pro, but I believe I have gotten better over time. I don't try and pose them up too often. That almost never works for us and is almost always frustrating. That's okay with me, though. I love the natural shots of them just doing what they do.

This is my camera- except, yes- with a neck strap... dork...

I never thought I'd be one of those parents with a camera hanging around my neck and in my kids' faces at every little event, but here I am! I wonder if I will look back later and wonder if I took too many, but how else is a person suppossed to remember every little, different facial expression their makes?

Book Review: Bringing up Girls

I had a friend recommend James Dobson's Bringing Up Girls to me a few months ago. I checked it out from the library and bought a couple copies as baby shower gifts for other friends I knew that were having girls.

My Initial Thoughts:
Good, but kind of rambling in some parts. I know that most women don't mind the rambling or extra anticdotes, but I can't expect the hubs to read it if there's too much not-getting-right-to-the-point with absolutely NO redundancy!
I also, think that his earlier stuff is probably better than his most recent. I feel like he gets right to the point and minces no words in the older stuff. It seems like in his more recent books he kind of tip toes up to his point and almost (not quite, but almost) apologizes for it.

My Favorite Parts: 
Dobson put in a quote from John Adams that I super love: "From all that I read of History of Government, of human life, and manners, I [have] drawn this conclusion, that the manners of women [are] the most infallible Barometer, to ascertain the degree of Morality and Virtue in a Nation. All that I have since read and all the observation I have made in different Nations, have confirmed me in this opinion. The Manners of Women, are the surest Criterion by which to determine whether a Republican Government is practicable, in a Nation or not. The Jews, the Greeks, the Romans, the Swiss, the Dutch, all lost their public Spirit, their Republican principals and habits, and their Republican Forms of Government when they lost their Modesty and Domestic Virtues of their women...
The foundations of national Morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are School, Academies and universities instituted if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of youth."
Wow! I love that quote. It's so right on. If you ever think there is something more important than investing in your own kids just think of the entire nation!

Dobson writes a couple chapters specifically for dads that are pretty good. Quick summery: tell your girl she's pretty and take her out on "dates" once in a while.

He also mentions the Culture War which he calls the "River of Culture" that youth are getting swept up in. I know no one really wants to talk about this anymore, but we should. It's almost taboo to speak against anything on TV. And if you say anything about how dirty it is, how it's all crap or how you just don't watch it anymore you sound like a snob or a grandma. There are plenty of articles out there about how many sex and violent images young kids will see in a lifetime, yet the TV remains constantly turned on- see? I sounded like a prude right there. Well, I think TV is nothing but a big brainwashing box! And right there? -a hateful, crazy radical! Anyhoo...

Dobson mentions a book by Joe McIlhaney, MD and Freda McKissic, MD called Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children. It sounds really interesting to me. I like it when man finds through proven facts that God's word was right all along. Meanwhile, we've got things like this and that going on making it harder to guide adolescent girls down the "River of Culture".

Overall: I thought it was a good book to read if you really want to understand how your daughter's mind works and want a reminder of the kind of world our girls are exposed to everyday. It gives some encouragement to be proactive in deciding how we want to parent in the years to come.
It's always easier to make sober decisions ahead of time instead of in the moment. If you wait till the moment is upon you, you may be too rushed or you may let other circumstances make the decision for you. Also, I'm afraid those "moments" in the future will be more and more sticky with more and more people caring less and less about the values I want to instill in my daughter. Isn't there a Refrigerator magnet that says, "if it is to be, it's up to me."?

# 0010: "Warm with Sleep"

"Warm with Sleep" -I love reading that phrase because I know exactly what the author is saying. Who doesn't love being there right when a little baby or even a big kid wakes up from a nap. They are "warm with sleep". How else can you convey that to a reader? Whether they were bundled or covered up or not, their little bodies are so warm and some of them still have a little bit more cuddle left to them (depending on the age, of course).
Alot of the time I am downstairs when my kids wake up and they come down to find me. Their little cheeks are still red and they've got an arm load of toys with them.
I should be up there more often to watch them wake up. Seeing your kids when they first wake up from anything is definitely an experience! Lately, they have been waking me up!

It seems like everybody posts on Facebook when their kids are sick that they hate it when their kids are sick, but on the brightside, they dig the snuggling. Well, there's a way to get some suggle time without the antibiotics. Be there when they wake up and hang out for a few minutes.

# 0009: Underfoot

Some days it seems like kids do this best; they are underfoot, clingy, attached, in your bubble and you are trying to think of anything that sounds nicer than, "Get out of my way!" You think, "Geeze, if I could just move a few feet without herding little bodies in front of my and dodging little feet and legs!" They are underfoot.

Why do I love this when I just shared my complaining thoughts about children being underfoot? Well, I love it because they are HERE, they are THERE, they are WHERE I AM and I am right there WHERE THEY ARE.
They are watching me work. They are there to watch and learn. They are taking it all in; everything I do. They are watching me be patient with their siblings... or not... they are watching me use the keyboard on the computer. They are watching me design. They are watching me mop. They are watching me push buttons on the dishwasher. They are listening to me talk on the phone. They are watching me pull the trash bin back to the house. They are watching me vacuum out the car (that has happened... this one time...). They are watching me paint. They are watching me fix dinner.

I love them being underfoot because it means they are being apart of my world. At this age, especially, they want to be apart of my world and I certainly want them to want that. I want them to know me. I want them to know that I want them around. They are learning from me and we are doing things together as a family. Some of the things are mundane or may seem mundane to you, but it's not to a small child. I have recently learned that my nearly two year old loves to help with the laundry. I hear his little feet slapping the tile floor on his way to the laundry room to throw the dirty clothes in and earn his reward of pushing the buttons and watching it start spinning.
Of course, It's always easier to get things done when they're not underfoot. Things go faster and smoother, but if they're not up in your grill how else will they learn? How else will they learn about the adult world when they are constantly shoved out of the way? I realize some things are dangerous, some things just need to get done faster and sometimes you think they'd have more fun someplace else. However, that last one is NEVER true! We really, truly have no idea how much our kids want nothing more than to be around their mom and dad. I always think of this quote from THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS by Dr. Meg Meeker, "If every mother in the United States could wrap her mind around her true value as a woman and mother, her life would never be the same. We would wake up every morning excited for the day rather than feeling as though we'd been hit by a truck during the night. We would talk differently to our kids, fret less about our husbands' annoying habits, and speak with greater tenderness and clarity. We would find more contentment in our relationships, let mean remarks roll off our backs, and leave work feeling confident in the job we performed. And best of all--we wouldn't obsess about our weight (can you imagine?), physical fitness, or what kind of home we live in. We would live a life free from superficial needs because we would know deep in our hearts what we need and, more importantly, what we don't need. Each of us would live a life of extraordinary freedom."

Mostly what I get from that quote is that we as parents have no idea how much we as moms and dads mean to our kids, how much our kids think of us and love us... even at our worst... there is something humbling right there.
So, I love my kids being underfoot, being there, being with me (who they want to be with), and learning a little about the adult world while they're little and (not to be redundant but,) with me; together; being a family.





Here are some links about kids in the kitchen: Teaching Your Child to Cook and A Child's Place is in the Kitchen

Why do I feel like Chris Farely in that Herlihy Boy House Sitting skit he did with Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live? "Please!!! Let the kids watch you water your plants!!! Please!!! Whay wont you just let them watch you cook dinner??!!"

# 0008: My Boy

Have I mentioned how much I love my boy? I think he is the neatest thing! I've never met anyone like him! I don't want to rub it in, but I love having boy(s) and girl(s). They are soooooo different and I love getting to see those differences every day, up close and personal. 

Boys do the funniest things that you could never imagine anyone doing. They are like a completely different breed of people to me! I love being the mother of a son. It's like no other experience. I know I'm only a couple years into it. I know it will be a roller coaster and I know this partly because it already has been.

I feel like moms sometimes treat raising sons as a major challenge- kind of the same way some dads feel about raising daughters. My brother had a friend who was raised in a house full of boys, no sisters. Before his wife gave birth to their first daughter (and now set of twin girls), he made the comment, "I mean, what if it's a girl? Can you imagine that? What do you do them?"

Sometimes it feels like the opposite sex is so completely opposite that there would be no way to relate or even come close to trying to understand their thinking or "why they would act that way". Dads generally do not know what to do when there is a girl crying. They might ask, "why," but sometimes the girl doesn't even know. I know men are completely lost when this sort of thing happens and I know women are completely lost when boys do something seemingly insane to the thought process of a female. 

It can be a bit of a challenge to raise the opposite sex. It requires some more patience and understanding and acceptance. Those things are challenging to get a handle on sometimes. I always think of my boy as just a little man. They're all just little men. They all think cars are neat, take silly risks, talk, growl, or grunt really loud, like being a hero, a little wild and crazy, don't care if their hands are dirty, don't look before they leap and yes, I know these are all stereotypes... I'm not saying that every boy fits into these characteristics exactly, but it's a scientific fact that the male mind is wired completely differently from the female's mind (it happens very early in the womb before we can see any outside evidence of gender). 

Since we are so different, we really only have two choices: To completely give up and disconnect to the point that we barely have a relationship or enjoy every surprise twist and turn there is. The things my boy does, I couldn't see coming in a million years! It's the same with his dad. The opposite sex brings some exciting stuff into our lives- stuff we would never think of without them here. They are extremly valuable!

It amazes me everyday how this boy can give the greatest, most loving hugs ever one minute and the next he's asking me if it's okay to eat a worm. He sits completely still and silent, snuggling while we read a bunch of books he picked out then the second the last book is over he's on the floor crashing his cars into one another. He's eating like a field hand one minute and the next he's completely passed out and nothing can wake him. One moment he's shaking his head furiously at his sister, shouting and growling as loud as he can, but as soon as she says she's sorry and gives him a hug she's more than welcome to play with him again. 

I had a friend wonder out loud about a little 3-year-old boy she knew and if a kid that small could be "bi-polar or something". Of course, I don't have any idea- I would have to guess, though, that it's just a little boy growing up in a world that operates completely differently to how he thinks. Example: hugs are acceptable. Eating worms is not.

I've barely gotten started being a mom to a boy, but I can tell you that it is fun. My boy is sweet before and after his temper tantrums. He's funny whether he means to be or not. He's wild, loud and crazy and still, quiet and thoughtful. He's loving while he's determined and all business. He's a mixed bag!... but, I think that fathers of daughters would say that same thing about their girls. You never know what you're going to get with the opposite sex but, ya-gotta-love-it!

# 0007: Playgrounds

I love how excited kids get about playgrounds! All smiles! And they run as fast as they can to the slides, the jungle gyms, the swings, the- whatever is their favorite! Then, they proceed to do the same thing over and over and over again.
And usually... usually... if you are there long enough... when you say it's time to go and give them some transitionary warning like "one more slide", "5 more minutes", or "time to tell the park 'bye!'" you can get out of there without a screaming "I'm not ready to go" fit because they're so wore out from running, playing and climbing... usually...
I love how they remember the playgrounds when you drive by them. They talk about the playground. They tell stories about the playground. They even like to look at pictures of playgrounds! They would love to try a new playground out like every week if they could.

Even at Disney World in Hollywood studios- that Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground is a hit! It's busy all the time! And that's a 23 year old movie! It's a super cool playground, though.
Also, it doesn't matter what time of year it is. Kids are more than happy to bundle up and play out on a freezing cold jungle gym.
I really love watching their they're faces as they run to the slides. They almost look more excited than on Christmas morning!
Here's a link to Yahoo's "5 Coolest playgrounds in the US"
Also, here's a link to an article asking if playgrounds are too safe aka, lame and if there should be more risk involved in playing on a playground: Have playgrounds become too safe for kids?
Note to self: It may be a good idea to schedule some playground/ park time into long distance car rides.

# 0006: Inconsistencies

"They" always tell you to, "be consistent! You have to be consistent in your disciplining!" I know that is true. However, if something is consistently not working, you are the parent. You get to change your disciplinary measures the very next day if you deem it necessary. It's not like a school or other public institution that has to maintain a standard for every boy and girl no matter what.
Today, however, I'm thinking about the inconsistencies that go on in my own head. 
For some lazy reason I sat and watched my nearly 2 year old son head up stairs, alone, with an uncapped ink pen. It wasn't long before his sister came down and reported that he had drawn on the wall. I was not surprised. Why would I have given him that pen? 
The same thing happened a few years back with his sister. I had left an ink pen out on the table. I'm not sure how long it took me to notice her undeniable handiwork on my lamp shade. 

In both of these incidents I had enabled these children. Of course, we only draw in paper, but they are little people, brand new to the world. How are they to really comprehend why it matters to only draw on pieces of paper? And if there's no paper out, what makes an appropriate substitute? I truely don't believe they know, yet. However, it is our job to teach them- otherwise they would never know.
In both of these cases, I was lazy and then I was extremely irritated at the mess I would have to clean up  because of my own laziness. Still, I would have to get on to the little artists in some way to let them know that we only draw on paper and nothing else! The trouble is that, also in both instances I was really impressed with their art work. The girl (who was older than the boy at the time) had drawn penguins all over the lampshade. The boy had drawn very well, some very straight up and down lines on his wall.
I was torn in both instances on what to do. I really wanted to tell them what a great job they did, but I knew this was not the time, so they got scolded instead.
My mind finds this to be so inconsistent. How can I be proud and mad at the same time? I guess that's one thing I love about being a mom- it's complicated. Every day can be complicated, but I'm the one who takes these complications and gets to figure out what to do with them. Some may see it as cut and dry (the kid drew on the wall. C'mon, it's a no brainer), but I love to take the time to put myself in that little head and wonder how he/ she sees it. They always see the world totally differently than big people. No, I don't always take the time to do that, but it's fun when I do. I should do it more often! 
I'm the one that makes the decision to scold, punish, but more importantly teach them how to act with a ready and available ink pen. I'm also the one that gets to give them a hug and kiss, then sit down with them and a clean sheet of paper to draw to our heart's content.