"YOU Are His Mama!"

In the first few days after my baby was born, I was seeking advice from just about everyone. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted to do everything "right." I wanted to breastfeed, but most of the hospital staff warned against using a pacifier too soon. Another family member suggested I go ahead and use it. So here I was with conflicting advice, torn and overwhelmed, not knowing what to do. I felt like everyone else knew what to do and could care for my sweet little boy better than I could in those early days. After all, they had experience and I didn't.

Finally after asking my mom a series of questions about what to do for my baby she said "YOU are his mama. You know best." When she first said that I thought, 'no, no I don't...I'm lost and don't know what to do!' As time goes on though, I think about when she told me that and I'm so glad she did. She may not have realized it then, but she was giving me confidence as a mama to care for my baby. One of the things I've had to learn quick is to be confident in whatever decision you make. If you are just a tiny bit self conscious about some aspect of your mothering, it's like people can sense it and jump in to offer advice, advice you really would rather not hear. Am I alone on this? It seems like if you are confident in your decision, people can sense that too and don't seem to offer as much unsolicited advice.

Nobody knows your kids like you do, and nobody can love them like you can. I have no problem asking for advice. I ask more experienced moms about something almost everyday. The difference between the first few days of being a mama and now is that I've learned to listen to everyone's advice, but sort through it and do what works for our family. Every precious little boy and girl is unique and special in their own way. There are no cookie cutter kids. Next time someone starts to offer advice (or critiques) of your parenting style, listen to what they have to say, but filter through and pick out what works... and remember, YOU are the mama! You know best.

Highs and Lows of my Pregnancy

Every pregnancy is different. Even women who have been pregnant many times will tell you that each pregnancy brought along different challenges, discomforts, joys, and excitement. Women loooooooove to complain about pregnancy, and I was guilty of it too several times during my nine months, but it isn't all bad.

In fact, it can be a great excuse to get things you want! I would tell my husband "I'm so hungry...Let's go to McCalister's for supper." And we would. Just because I played the pregnancy card. Are you hot? Crank up that a/c - you're pregnant after all! Are you tired? For cryin' out loud, take a nap! You're busy growing another person. Nobody else is working that hard!

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a few low point and high points of my experience. I started with the lows so we can end on a good note.

Lows:

1. Morning All Day Sickness

Besides the extreme exhaustion, I felt great for a couple weeks after I found out I was pregnant. And then it hit. I made Broccoli Cheese Soup one Saturday and was looking forward to it all day! As soon as it came time to dish it out, I couldn't stand the smell of it or even look at it. Nope, not happening. Applesauce it was for me that night. And the sickness lasted the entire pregnancy. I took Zofran throughout and it helped immensely. If you are dealing with all day sickness that won't go away (no matter how much ginger ale you drink or if you wear those "sea bands" all day), get a prescription for Zofran...seriously, it was a lifesaver for me!

2. Heartburn/Indigestion

I didn't even know what heartburn or indigestion was until I was pregnant! Finally I figured it out and took a Zantac everyday and popped Tums like they were sweet-tarts. I was just careful to not overeat and I had a "cutoff" for supper each night. 6:30 was the latest I ever ate during my third trimester. My husband would ask if he had time to do something before supper and I'd say "Nope! Remember my cutoff!" Poor guy!

3. Swelling

I was pregnant during the entire summer, and I swelled up like a toad. My wedding ring didn't fit, I could only wear a select number shoes, and I had to wear heavy, thick compression tights during August. I was hot, hot, hot!

4. Going to the bathroom all the time

Well that's just kinda par for the course, isn't it? Take two sips of water, better head to the bathroom! Seriously. All. the. time.

Highs:

1. Telling my husband, our families and friends

I'll never forget my husband's reaction when I told him he was going to be a dad. He couldn't believe it and was so thrilled! We wanted a baby for a while, so when I told him it was so special. We loved telling our families and hearing their squeals of excitement. My father in law found this song somehow on youtube the day or two before we told them our news. He excitedly told my mother in law "Chelsea's pregnant! And she's gonna have twins!" She rolled her eyes at him, but turns out he was right! I was pregnant, just not with twins. So now he thinks he has a "gift." Ha!

2. OB Appointments and Lunch Dates

My husband went to just about every OB appointment with me and we had a lunch date afterwards. We I figured we better enjoy the appointments and lunch dates since we wouldn't have that luxury for the next pregnancy. A lot of women complain about the frequency of dr. appointments you have when you are pregnant, but I enjoyed going and hearing my little man's heartbeat, which leads me to number three...

3. Hearing his heart beat, ultrasounds

The first time my husband and I heard the heartbeat and saw our little peanut on the ultrasound screen it was so surreal! I looked forward to every appointment to hear his heartbeat and LOVED the 20 week ultrasound. Seeing him kick and squirm around on the screen nearly brought tears to my eyes. We even got to see him swallow and suck his thumb.

4. Feeling him move

I don't know how to describe how incredible it is to feel your baby move for the first time. It is a beautiful thing. I called my husband over several times to feel the baby move, but as soon as he would get over there, the baby would quit. It was like our little man was playing games with us before he was ever born! When he finally did kick for his dad, his eyes lit up and he grinned from ear to ear. By the end of the third trimester the movement slowed down because he was simply "out of womb," and the kicks I did feel were usually in my ribs. Ouch!

5. Baby Showers

People love to buy gifts for new babies. Plain and simple. They love to make blankets, buy tiny little pajamas, socks, and towels. We were so blessed to have three great baby showers with family and friends. I loved seeing how excited they all were for us to welcome our little man. So humbling.

6. Friendly people

Before I got pregnant I heard so many women complain about the unwanted belly touches and comments like "are you sure there aren't twins in there?" I didn't get too much of that. I did have so many people ask how I was feeling, when I was due, offer to carry groceries out to the car, and say how "cute" my belly looked. By the end of my pregnancy, I'll admit I was done with the "How are you feeling? How much longer?" questions. I remember one night before church praying for patience and that I would respond "I feel fine, just a few more weeks"  with a smile on my face. Ha! ...As I stood there feeling big as a barn and wearing my compression stockings, jeans, and tennis shoes in August...

Obviously, every little pain and discomfort was worth it when I saw my baby for the first time. I won't say I forgot them, but I lived through it! It really wasn't that bad! Pregnancy is hard work, and I pray for the women who have a lot more difficult and risky pregnancies. It is a long nine months, but it is just the beginning of an even longer journey of being a mama to that precious little baby!

What are some highs and lows of your pregnancies? 

Borrowed Post: Quality Does Not Equal Quantity

Quality time vs. quantity time has been debated over and over again for years and years. Here is a link to my other blog explaining my take on the debate. I'm sure it is no surprise! 

Here is a little snippet of the post: 

"You can't plan quality time. Yes, you can plan special events, like birthday parties, holiday parties, or a family game night. You will probably even make lasting memories at those events, but don't those events usually have some sort of "schedule?" Birthday parties we plan to eat around this time, cut the cake a little later, and then open presents at that time. Holiday parties we do the same thing. Game nights have conversations directed toward the particular game we are playing. There is nothing wrong is getting together and doing those things... I think it is great! But are we really spending qualitytime together when we do that?"

Go over and check it out!

Why I Don't Need Adult Interaction

We've all heard it. Maybe you have even said it. "I wanted to go back to work because I just really needed the adult interaction." Or "adult interaction is really good for me." I'll admit, when I worked full time and before I became a mother, I was worried I too would be one of these "adult interaction" types. I had been working since I was 15 years old, so I was concerned I would miss “going to work” each day.

When I was working I enjoyed most all of my co-workers. Although we all worked independently in the field most days, we would also ride along together or communicate by phone or email on a fairly regular basis. I talked with one co-worker in particular almost every day. I enjoyed her company and thought we'd keep in touch (as much as you can with a newborn baby!) after I left. She called me one day about a month after I'd quit. I couldn't believe how negative she was about her job and life in general. I couldn't wait to get off the phone with her...luckily my sweet baby started crying, so I had an excuse to cut the conversation short! Ha! 

What had changed? I used to enjoy talking with her. It wasn't her that had changed. It was me. When I was working I was surrounded by complainers and negative people. I didn't realize how infectious bad attitudes are! I became so calloused to the problem that I didn't even realize it was a problem! After I left I was suddenly only surrounded by my family, my church family, and my friends; people that are loving, encouraging, and positive. I'm no longer thrown into the world and all of its negativity on a daily basis. I don’t want or need the world’s “adult interaction.” I want the kind that encourages me as a mother, wife, and helps me walk closer to Christ. 

While it may be true that my voice is constantly more high pitched now from babbling with my baby and I don't have lunch breaks with friends or co-workers (some days I'm lucky to get lunch at all!) anymore, now I get to choose the type of adult interaction I want. Now it's easier to create a warmer, more welcoming, Christian home for my husband to come home to each night. And this makes reason number 348 that I love being a mom!

# 0038: Rocking Babies

I love rocking my babies. I love to be able to rock them to sleep or calm them down when they're worked up. 
Honestly my girl has been my favorite to rock. The boys were really more interested in the food. I could rock her all day long because she was the only one at the time. We would "rock 'n' read" after lunch and "rock, read-n, sing" before bed. 
I loved rocking the girl to sleep... until she got too big to rock to sleep. I'd think she was asleep, lay her down and those big eyes would pop open. That's when we had to start some sleep training. Around 9 months or so we had to let her cry it out... sort of. We kept our rockin' routine, then we checked in on her every 10-15 minutes and basically did everything but pick her up again. I even sat, holding her little fingers through the slats of her crib singing every verse of "Jesus Loves Me" I knew about 76 times each. I wanted to pick her up and rock her, but it just got to where she wouldn't rock to sleep anymore. We kept our routine except for the laying-her-down-completely-asleep part. She had to learn to get herself to sleep. You never know about those rascals. It was a different story with the boy and I know it will be different with the new boy, too.
I know there's a blog post going around right now about all the contradictions in baby sleep advice from the experts. I'm blessed to have my own panel of experts, of course; "The Grandmas". 
I'm not sure what all the expert books say, but I have yet to meet a grandma- anybody's grandma of any age that wasn't ready and willin' to drop everything for a chance to rock a baby. They all get that same sweet, longing look on their faces recalling the babies they've rocked. That tells me something. That tells me that rocking babies is meaningful (to say the least) for years to come for the babies and the mamas. It's bonding. It's memorable. It's something you don't want to miss out on! 
I'm all for the parenting books, but rocking babies just seems like basic common sense; a natural, motherly thing to do at least every once in awhile. I love the memories I have of rocking my babies. I even have memories of being rocked myself by both grandmas. I remember singing "This Little Light of Mine" while being rocked back and forth. 
This is the song that was going through my head while writing this post:

I'll do everything I can to make you proud to be my man 
And I'll fulfill all your fantasies
I guess we're promising a lot, but for now it's all we've got 
And I'll stand by you thru our rockin' years 

Rockin' chairs, rockin' babies, rock-a-bye, rock of ages 
Side by side we'll be together always 
And if you'll hold me tight when you love me 
That's all I'll ask of you 
And I'll stand by you thru our rockin' years 

I'll be your friend, I'll be your lover 
Until the end, there'll be no other 
'Cause my heart has only room for one 
Yes, I'll always love you, and I'll always be here for you 
And I'll stand by you thru our rockin' years 

Rockin' chairs, rockin' babies, rock-a-bye, rock of ages 
Side by side we'll be together always 
And if you'll hold me tight when you love me 
That's all I'll ask of you 
And I'll stand by you thru our rockin' years 

Rockin' chairs, rockin' babies, rock-a-bye, rock of ages 
Side by side, we'll be together always 
And, yes, I'll always love you and I'll always be here for you 
And I'll stand by you thru our rockin' years, and I'll be here 
And I'll stand by you thru our rockin' years 

Thru our rockin' years 

Yep, that's "Rockin' Years" (Dolly Parton with Ricky Van Shelton from their albums Eagle When She Flies and Backroads, respectively)

Church Pew Training aka "CPT"

Out of the blue the other day, The Man of the House says to me, "Ultimately, I'm glad our kids sit with us through church."
I'm not sure what he meant by "ultimately", but I agreed. Then, we went on to discuss The Boy's actions in church that morning... not bad... but restless, ya know?
We have all kinds of good stories from the church pew (I think everybody's favorite is the Chocolate Cheerios Incident of 2011). Like everything else, you live and you learn; on-the-job-training; life training and now CPT.
CPT is what we call "Church Pew Training". My family and I were talking one day about how our kids act in church; the difficulties and frustrations of getting them to sit still, keeping them quiet, remaining calm ourselves, the funny things they do, discipline and ect. We summed it all up by admitting that we know it gets better, it's just the age, we laughed and called the whole process "CPT".
I feel like we are in a good place with our CPT right now. I think we've already got one certificate (there is no certificate) and we may graduate early (there is no graduation) with the other kiddos. It really can be a frustrating, sometimes embarrassing, tiring, and a loooooooong process, but once you have that certificate (there is no certificate) it's worth it! CPT can be a long, loud wrestling match 2-3 hours a week, but I'm confident that the results will be immeasurable!
I know that a lot of people send their kids to the nursery or Children's Church during worship services. Our congregation doesn't have those things. We go to Sunday School for an hour and then the entire congregation comes together for worship services. While it's true that I would be able to pay more attention to the sermon not being in a wrestling match or not doling out snacks or coloring or pointing out all the penguins in a book I love that they are there right next to me the whole time.
I love that they get to see how I bow my head to pray (James 5:16). I love that they get to see their dad taking notes and following along in his Bible (Acts 20:7, Colossians 4:16). I love that they get to watch us take communion. I love that they get to see us being reverent and serious about "drinking the juice and eating the crackers" (1 Corinthians 11:25-26). I love that are watching and listening to me sing praises to God (Hebrews 13:15). I love that I don't have to make excuses for my voice because to them and God I sound like an angel. They are watching every little thing we do and these acts of worship are the most important things we do all week. I love their questions and comments (1 Peter 3:15)! I love watching them proudly drop their pennies and quarters in the collection plate on it's way down the pew (1 Corinthians 16:2). I am very thankful that they get to see me and their dad participating in worship to God. I love that they get to see  how important and meaningful it is to us from such a young age.
The day that we're not carrying in diaper bags and coloring books and constantly worrying about what kind of faces they're making at the people behind us will come all too soon. The day that I don't have to worry about what to wear- pants or skirt  during my wrestling match  to church Sunday morning will be here before I know it.
In the meantime, here are some suggestions for your own CPT that have worked for us:

1. Bring a church bag. Fill a small bag with books, coloring books, paper, pencils, colors, a couple of toys (our kids always have to bring a "guy" with them so that their "guy" can hear The Gospel), snacks, whatever. We have forgotten our church bag the last couple of weeks... I wont say it has been a disaster. I will say that I am going to load it in the car as soon as I finish this post.
2. Let them turn around. When they're little bitty, I see nothing wrong with letting them turn around in the pew for a second every once in a while to stare down the folks behind them. Most people will find it adorable and a pleasant interruption to the service. It's a great way for the little people to make friends and feel comfortable in their surroundings.
3. Snuggle. This is a great time to snuggle. Maybe you just have to physically hold them still, hug and love on them in your lap. Hugs and kisses, scratching backs, playing with their hair, whatever. Maybe they're already kind of tired that time of day. Just wrap your arms around them tight and make them comfortable.
4. Wrestle-Mania! I don't reccomend wearing a skirt for this. Ha ha ha- no really. Sometimes those little squirm worms on your lap can wrestle around so much they stretch the neck of that shirt down lower than what you had it Saturday night and they bring the hem of your shirt up to meet. But sometimes you just have to wrestle. You're picking them up off the floor, they're throwing themselves over your shoulder, they're stretched out flat, then they're bouncing on your knees. You're sitting their little bottoms down next to yours with a coloring book and they're swinging from your neck. You're picking up a toy from the floor and they're doing a head stand on the pew. After the closing prayer, you're a wore out, hot mess. If you're me, you've got the experienced parents behind you (who thoroughly enjoyed the show) patting you on the back, saying, "Feels like a wrestling match, doesn't it? Yeah, we've been there." Sometimes it just has to be done. Light at the end of the tunnle? Before you know it, they will be sitting still, minding their own business only asking a few questions throughout. Before you know it, they'll be asking you questions about Jesus. Before you know it, you will be discussing the lesson with them that afternoon. The bigger picture? The goal? Your main objective? Proverbs 22:6 and well, we're just trying to get to heaven and take as many people with us as possible. 
5. Never let their little feet touch the floor. This will sometimes result in a wrestling match, but we never let them down from your lap or their seat. As soon as they get down to just walk around within your own aisle you'll be lifting up your feet while they're rolling under them and jumping up to chase them down the aisle at least 2- 3 times in a 30 minute span.
6. Don't make empty promises (or threats). I know we've all heard this in just about every dicussion ever had on discipline. I don't care for being a broken record, so if you need more I'd suggest some of James Dobson's books like Dare to Discipline or The Strong-Willed Child or Parenting Isn't for Cowards. I'm no experienced expert! C'mon people, I've only been a mom for 5 years!
7. Relax. Have a sense of humor. Stick to it. Okay, so maybe I rolled three points up into one, here. They are the easiest and the hardest. I know that from the pulpit they warn about habits and going through the motions of being a Christian, don't fall into a routine, ect. But with kids, make it a habit! Make Sunday school a habit! Make praying a routine. The prayer doesn't have to be routine, the weekly habit doesn't have to be boring, just make it expected and let them know what you expect from them. Don't give up on making God, His commands, His Church, His people a priority. It doesn't get easier to start up later. It gets easier when you've made it a priority. Don't worry about what other people think. Even if you have to get up 20 times in a 30 minute span the fact that you are there is an encouragment to someone else. Afterwards, go have lunch, sit back and tell stories of all the crazy things your kids did that morning. Heck, throw in some stories of other poeple's kids, too. Those are always better. 

These are just some suggestions of things that have helped us. Being with God's people is a blessing that I look forward to. I know that seeing my family in church (distractions they may be) is a blessings to everyone else just as everyone is to me. I love having the kids there right next to me to hug on, to sing with, to whisper to, to laugh at, to tickle, to hold, to color and draw with, to pray with and even wrestle with.
Encouraging parents to take their families to church is definitely something that falls by the wayside. There are plenty of excuses to not go no matter what stage of life you're in, but when you have kids the excuses are infinite! Believe me-  I know all the "Little Excuses".
I also love that *BONUS* I can take them to weddings or funerals without much worry because they know the drill for the most part. We both have had practice. We've both been through CPT.

The Shooting

I just can't not comment on this.
I hate it. I've had such an unsettled, helpless feeling since it happened- like, "what are we gonna do now?" And then I think about those parents... and I just can't do it. My kids are about that age and I just can't go there. But, how can we not think about them?
I know I'll be thinking about them on my Christmas morning at my house with my kids crawling all over me, laughing with wrapping paper stuck to their jammas and toys everywhere. I'll be thinking about those parents as we tie our sugar-hyped kids into the car and make our way to grandma's (hoping they sleep on the way) to eat all her cookies and get spoiled with even more snuggles and gifts. I'll be thinking of them at the end of the day when my precious little gifts pass-out in their beds with sticky candy canes stuck in their hair and new toys piled up next the door.
I'll be thinking about them and praying about the whole situation, but I can't put myself in their shoes or even imagine... I can't go there. I can be really thankful all Christmas Day and everyday that I have been given the kids I've been given.
There's a lot I can't do. I'm not in the position politically and more importantly, I am not the ruler of the universe (I'm only half ruler of our 5 acre plot). There are a lot of reasons being pushed on us and tossed around to the natural, first question, "why?". We've got gun control, mental illness, video games, parenting, Hollywood, over-saturated media, lack of family values, removing prayer from public school,  and I'm sure I'm leaving some out. I have an opinion on each one of those reasons, but if I was a Sandy Hook parent I don't think I would care for the one, simplistic, "boiled down to" answer. There can't be just one simple reason for a tragedy that will cause so many complications in so many lives for the rest of their lives! I can't accept just one, simple answer. No, something like this deserves more thought and more "yes, but why?" questions asked. The murder of even just one helpless and innocent child deserves more than a one word, closed ended response (ie; SATAN! End of discussion... GUNS! End of discussion... MEDIA! End of discussion... ). There has to be more to the reason and more to our plan of action than that, because well, there's certainly going to be more to this shooting than just what went on that one day. I know those children are safe now, but the surviving children that saw...
I'm going to need to tack on some extra time to my prayers regarding what happened last Friday; especially in the thankfulness department because God is in control (Isaiah 59:1), but He doesn't promise tomorrow (James 4:13).

Always The Mom...

I have kind of a rant to go off on. A few weeks ago, I read an article on BabyCenter.com called, "Why are men just men, while women are moms?" about how men are always introduced first as men and what they do where as women, no matter what they do are introduced as a mother first and then are recognized for their accomplishment. People seem to have a problem with this double standard. This was my response:

"Why is this a problem that working women are Introduced as mothers or grandmothers first? I’m glad that people are still interested in the family side of someone.

The family should be first no matter who you are or what you do, so how could it be insulting or considered a set back of any kind when no matter the achievement, people want to know about a person’s family life?
I understand some people have a problem with the double standard; men being men first, not fathers. Isn’t that just the nature of the beast, so to speak? I mean, you don’t hear dads crying around about how little is spent on Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day. Aren’t fathers just as important to the healthy development of a child as a mother is yet the fsther’s day cards being sent, the long distance calls beung made are fewer and much farther between.
News flash: males and females are wired different. It’s a proven scientific fact. Boys and girls, husbands and wives, moms and dads- different. There will always be a “gender gap”. Thank goodness for that! Women’s lives would be so boring without the men and men’s lives would be so boring without the women.
Let me reiterate the fact that no matter what you achieve or who you become to the rest if the world, you are first a mom in the eyes of that child (who will always only have one mom). Nothing will ever be more important to that child than what you did for him or her at home as the mom first. It’s a good thing! Be thankful!"

I honestly don't see the problem with being known as a mom first. It's the most important title you'll ever hold and the most irreplacable position. Anybody could walk out of their job tomorrow and they'd be replaced in less than a week. But you can never be replaced at home. That position will always be filled even if the worst happens. The value of a mother to her child far exceeds her worth anywhere else. I would take it as a huge compliment to be mentioned as the mom and then the whatever. 

P.S: Even if you are the Queen of England- you are still known as the "Queen MOTHER". Just sayin'.

Book Review: Bringing up Girls

I had a friend recommend James Dobson's Bringing Up Girls to me a few months ago. I checked it out from the library and bought a couple copies as baby shower gifts for other friends I knew that were having girls.

My Initial Thoughts:
Good, but kind of rambling in some parts. I know that most women don't mind the rambling or extra anticdotes, but I can't expect the hubs to read it if there's too much not-getting-right-to-the-point with absolutely NO redundancy!
I also, think that his earlier stuff is probably better than his most recent. I feel like he gets right to the point and minces no words in the older stuff. It seems like in his more recent books he kind of tip toes up to his point and almost (not quite, but almost) apologizes for it.

My Favorite Parts: 
Dobson put in a quote from John Adams that I super love: "From all that I read of History of Government, of human life, and manners, I [have] drawn this conclusion, that the manners of women [are] the most infallible Barometer, to ascertain the degree of Morality and Virtue in a Nation. All that I have since read and all the observation I have made in different Nations, have confirmed me in this opinion. The Manners of Women, are the surest Criterion by which to determine whether a Republican Government is practicable, in a Nation or not. The Jews, the Greeks, the Romans, the Swiss, the Dutch, all lost their public Spirit, their Republican principals and habits, and their Republican Forms of Government when they lost their Modesty and Domestic Virtues of their women...
The foundations of national Morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are School, Academies and universities instituted if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of youth."
Wow! I love that quote. It's so right on. If you ever think there is something more important than investing in your own kids just think of the entire nation!

Dobson writes a couple chapters specifically for dads that are pretty good. Quick summery: tell your girl she's pretty and take her out on "dates" once in a while.

He also mentions the Culture War which he calls the "River of Culture" that youth are getting swept up in. I know no one really wants to talk about this anymore, but we should. It's almost taboo to speak against anything on TV. And if you say anything about how dirty it is, how it's all crap or how you just don't watch it anymore you sound like a snob or a grandma. There are plenty of articles out there about how many sex and violent images young kids will see in a lifetime, yet the TV remains constantly turned on- see? I sounded like a prude right there. Well, I think TV is nothing but a big brainwashing box! And right there? -a hateful, crazy radical! Anyhoo...

Dobson mentions a book by Joe McIlhaney, MD and Freda McKissic, MD called Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children. It sounds really interesting to me. I like it when man finds through proven facts that God's word was right all along. Meanwhile, we've got things like this and that going on making it harder to guide adolescent girls down the "River of Culture".

Overall: I thought it was a good book to read if you really want to understand how your daughter's mind works and want a reminder of the kind of world our girls are exposed to everyday. It gives some encouragement to be proactive in deciding how we want to parent in the years to come.
It's always easier to make sober decisions ahead of time instead of in the moment. If you wait till the moment is upon you, you may be too rushed or you may let other circumstances make the decision for you. Also, I'm afraid those "moments" in the future will be more and more sticky with more and more people caring less and less about the values I want to instill in my daughter. Isn't there a Refrigerator magnet that says, "if it is to be, it's up to me."?

# 0008: My Boy

Have I mentioned how much I love my boy? I think he is the neatest thing! I've never met anyone like him! I don't want to rub it in, but I love having boy(s) and girl(s). They are soooooo different and I love getting to see those differences every day, up close and personal. 

Boys do the funniest things that you could never imagine anyone doing. They are like a completely different breed of people to me! I love being the mother of a son. It's like no other experience. I know I'm only a couple years into it. I know it will be a roller coaster and I know this partly because it already has been.

I feel like moms sometimes treat raising sons as a major challenge- kind of the same way some dads feel about raising daughters. My brother had a friend who was raised in a house full of boys, no sisters. Before his wife gave birth to their first daughter (and now set of twin girls), he made the comment, "I mean, what if it's a girl? Can you imagine that? What do you do them?"

Sometimes it feels like the opposite sex is so completely opposite that there would be no way to relate or even come close to trying to understand their thinking or "why they would act that way". Dads generally do not know what to do when there is a girl crying. They might ask, "why," but sometimes the girl doesn't even know. I know men are completely lost when this sort of thing happens and I know women are completely lost when boys do something seemingly insane to the thought process of a female. 

It can be a bit of a challenge to raise the opposite sex. It requires some more patience and understanding and acceptance. Those things are challenging to get a handle on sometimes. I always think of my boy as just a little man. They're all just little men. They all think cars are neat, take silly risks, talk, growl, or grunt really loud, like being a hero, a little wild and crazy, don't care if their hands are dirty, don't look before they leap and yes, I know these are all stereotypes... I'm not saying that every boy fits into these characteristics exactly, but it's a scientific fact that the male mind is wired completely differently from the female's mind (it happens very early in the womb before we can see any outside evidence of gender). 

Since we are so different, we really only have two choices: To completely give up and disconnect to the point that we barely have a relationship or enjoy every surprise twist and turn there is. The things my boy does, I couldn't see coming in a million years! It's the same with his dad. The opposite sex brings some exciting stuff into our lives- stuff we would never think of without them here. They are extremly valuable!

It amazes me everyday how this boy can give the greatest, most loving hugs ever one minute and the next he's asking me if it's okay to eat a worm. He sits completely still and silent, snuggling while we read a bunch of books he picked out then the second the last book is over he's on the floor crashing his cars into one another. He's eating like a field hand one minute and the next he's completely passed out and nothing can wake him. One moment he's shaking his head furiously at his sister, shouting and growling as loud as he can, but as soon as she says she's sorry and gives him a hug she's more than welcome to play with him again. 

I had a friend wonder out loud about a little 3-year-old boy she knew and if a kid that small could be "bi-polar or something". Of course, I don't have any idea- I would have to guess, though, that it's just a little boy growing up in a world that operates completely differently to how he thinks. Example: hugs are acceptable. Eating worms is not.

I've barely gotten started being a mom to a boy, but I can tell you that it is fun. My boy is sweet before and after his temper tantrums. He's funny whether he means to be or not. He's wild, loud and crazy and still, quiet and thoughtful. He's loving while he's determined and all business. He's a mixed bag!... but, I think that fathers of daughters would say that same thing about their girls. You never know what you're going to get with the opposite sex but, ya-gotta-love-it!

Why 5,001 Reasons?

Because we all need another pat on the back, another pick me up, another reminder of why we do what we do... Because there are too many snide comments, "I don't cares" and Nay Sayers out there.

I've been a mom for nearly 5 years and what a crazy new world it is every day! Has it been easy every day? No, not so much. Have I loved every minute of it? Yeah, I think I have. Does that sound contrived? When I think back on all the "hard stuff", I may not have enjoyed every second, but I love that I was there. There is something to love about the challenges and the difficulties. It's hard to see when you're in the moment, but talk to someone who is 20 years, 40 years, 50 years removed for some real perspective.
Also, I'll admit I'm spoiled. We all have adorable kids that make it all worth it, but I also have a very supportive and encouraging husband, family, friends and a God who I can talk to anytime and who wrote out a whole book for me to follow. These are very positive and encouraging relationships for me.

I realize that not everyone has this kind of support. Not everyone has grandmothers or grandmother figures in their lives to give them perspective on the challenges of today and how those challenges bring about the fruits of tomorrow. Not everyone has that ray of sunshine in their lives that will point out the good points or the humorous points of a rough day (at the right time). Not only do many parents not get this kind of support and encouragement, they sometimes don't get any! But what's worse is that we all get a big load of discouragement from the world we live in. Did you know that there are people who push the idea that mothers don't matter, dads are useless and parenting in general doesn't really affect how a kid grows up. Of course, that is ridiculous and there are countless studies that disprove that line of thinking entirely, but still, it is damaging if you hear, even a watered down version of it. 

So, I want to combat some of that discouragement by reminding myself and others of the little things we do as families that are vitally important to our sons and daughters; their lives now and their futures. 
Who knows how long it will take me to get to 5,001 reasons I love being mom. I know I'll never get there if I don't stay positive and focused on the little-big responsibilities that God has given me. He chose me to be the mom for a reason.