# 0049: When Other Moms Love Being Moms

I'm not the most positive, upbeat, outgoing person all the time, but I love when other people are! I love other people's zeal they have for their… jobs, interests, lives, whatever- !!!
I recently met an ice skating coach whose smile seemed to exude ice skating enthusiasm, enough for everyone on the ice, really.
I will never forget a lactation consultant I had in the hospital who acted as if my breast milk was made of solid gold or better yet- OIL! It was plain to see she loved what she was doing and wanted to share that with everyone else.
It seems like speaking ill and sarcastically about our families, especially the ones closest to us is the "cool thing" to do anymore. We've seen it on TV for years; parents who can't wait to get away from their kids, wives who disrespect their husbands. We could probably spend a month researching and discussing some of this at length, going off on tangent after tangent.

All I want to say here is that I love talking with other moms who love being moms. They realize what a blessing and responsibly parenting is and they relish it! I love talking with moms who feel blessed in some way everyday no matter what. It's encouraging to visit with moms who strive for a successful home life, a healthy family in all the ways, but especially relationally. It's great to see another mom smile at her child; a relaxed, joyful smile.
We can talk about what's wrong with this world all day long. We can gripe about our days and complain about how hard things are, but so can everybody else. Our problems don't make us unique. It's our attitudes that make us. Period. I love being around other parents
that love what their doing in the lives of their little ones.

Here's a book you might find encouraging:
Motherhood: An Awesome Calling 

# 0030: Sharing My Own Childhood

Over the past year, we have been able to procure some “family heirlooms” from various family members. I’m not into collecting a bunch of stuff because we have our own household of stuff, but when there’s some little old something that holds a memory for me I want it!- because I want to share it with my kids. A lot of my motivation for anything comes from wanting to give my kids a good, healthy, magical, memorable childhood. And sharing a piece of my own childhood with them adds to their’s. Sharing my own childhood memories about anything with them connects us, sharing memories about grandparents or other relatives gives them a sense of where they come from, doing something new and special with them makes them feel special and over-all it’s just a good, bonding time!

When my grandma passed away last summer the only things I really wanted were her old storybooks and her plastic McDonaldland plates. We use the plates only when we eat pancakes (because eating pancakes was a fun thing at Grandma’s house- she made them into any animal shape we requested) and we keep her books put up and only read them every once in a while. It’s like a visit to her house. Over the holidays, I got her jar of marbles and her old tin Chinese checkers board that I remember my cousins and I playing with at her house. I know my kids wont have very many memories with her in them- that’s just how life works, but I love that I get to share with them the same things that were shared with me as a kid. I feel like it connects the generations.

Before my oldest was born I asked my other grandma (yes, we are blessed with lots of grandparents, but that’s another post) if she remembered reading “Wynken, Blynken and Nod” to me when I was little. She couldn’t find her book, but found the exact same one at a flea market. I was so excited! I loved reading that poem to my baby girl. I love that we can go to her house and my kids can play with the same wooden blocks that my cousins and I played with also.

I love being able to share these same things with my kids. Now, these memories my not end up being as special to them. They may remember other things and hold other memories dear. That’s okay! My kids may get something completely different out of it. Either way, I’ve shared a little family history with them. They know where they come from. I’ve shared a little bit of me with them. They know what makes their mama tick. I’ve shared something with them period. We’ve had a good time.

Of course, I’d rather these things be in my grandma’s house with her there, too, but that’s not the way this world works. I know it’s all just stuff, but it’s also a vehicle for bonding and learning. I love that I am able to share so much with my kids because I was given great memories as child. Now I can relive them. I like to watch the same old cartoons with my kids, eat Jello out of fancy glasses, play the same made up games and of course, tell stories that remind me and my kids that I used to be a kid, too.

I don’t want to leave out anyone who had a not-so-awesome childhood or someone who can’t get a hold of those old family artifacts- even if there is a type of gum you remember chewing or a cartoon you liked to watch, find it on the internet or a flea market or at least something that reminds you of the original. It’s fun for kids to think of their parents as being kids once upon a time. I love being a kid again with my kids!

"Think not forever of yourselves, O Chiefs, nor of your own generation. Think of continuing generations of our families, think of our grandchildren and of those yet unborn, whose faces are coming from beneath the ground."  -T.S. Eliot

# 0027: Breast Feeding

Don't we all have kind of a love/ hate relationship with breast feeding? When it comes right gown to it I love it, but there have been days when I just kind of hate it. For me those days took place in the summer of 2011 due to a yeast infection in both breasts. I wouldn't wish that on anybody! 
There are painful experiences that sometimes go along with this labor of love. There are some annoyances and some inconveniences. But the good outweighs the bad doesn't it? We've all been through the classes and we all know the many, proven benefits of it (some they tell us are life long). We can see for ourselves the immediate blessings of saving money not buying formula or the baby weight melting off. Some of us really enjoy the sweet, quiet time with our very appreciative babies. The lactation consultants preach the necessity of its immunity giving qualities. They touch on the bonding aspect briefly, of course because nobody wants to push the idea that bonding with your child could ever be more important than- well anything- Bonding with family is hardly a must, let alone worth it! *sarcasm* 
Yes, I def believe breastfeeding is the way to go. I'll encourage anybody to breastfeed. Just try it for the first 2-3 months. It gets better and easier. But if you try and it just doesn't work for you after awhile- it's okay. It's really okay.
Maybe you got sick and dried up. Maybe it was too darn painful, maybe you just messed up somewhere along the way, or heck, maybe you just don't like it. It's okay. Whatever happened or didn't happen- it's okay. Breastfeeding does not make or break you as a mom. It's not the end all, be all. I know when you're just a few months in, it seems like breastfeeding is what makes you a mom, your ticket to mother of the year, the cornerstone of your relationship with your baby, but the truth is there is more to being a mom than feeding one end and wiping the other. I know it doesn't seem that way those first few months because that's about all you're doing, but the day that they do both of those things by themselves comes quicker than you know. This world of caring for an infant only lasts a few short months. Your beautiful face, angelic voice and warm hugs are what that little baby will take with him as he moves into toddler- hood and beyond. You bond with your baby just by taking care of your baby's everyday needs. That little baby sees you as the one who meets its every need all day and he or she doesn't care how it' done. I take that back- they would prefer their needs being met with a smile, and maybe throw in a song, too. 
Moral of the story: yes, I love breastfeeding my babies and encourage everyone to at least try it with theirs, but Fact: there is more to being a good mom than breastfeeding.

Please don't be discouraged about breastfeeding. It's worth learning everything you can about it. It's worth suffering through at times. It's worth the inconvenience. It's worth the extra mile. But it's not worth feeling down and depressed about. There is so much more to do for your baby! We have so much more access to so much information and support today than they had 25 years ago. Take advantage of the classes (sometimes they are free) and all the books out there. But don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't work out. Breastfeeding is not a free pass to great-mom super stardom and not-breastfeeding is not a sealing of your fate to a doomed motherhood. Don't those two things sound ridiculous in the context of breastfeeding? There's so much more to being a mom. So. Much. More.
Well, how's that for a pep-talk? I didn't even get out what all I love about breastfeeding. I still have another 4,974 posts to go!

Here's a book about breastfeeding I thought was really good: The Nursing Mother's Companion

# 0020: Little Wrestlers

I love watching my kids wrestle with their dad. Dads are so good at wrestling and rough housing in general. the whole house seems so loud when their wrestling and tickling and squealing and screaming and laughing. I love to watch them get so excited and into it. They love being tossed around and dragged back in by their feet. I love seeing them laugh so hard that my husband has to stop tickling for just a minute so they can catch their breaths. It's like the ultimate in excitement for them. They don't know what's going to happen next.
I'm very thankful that my kids have a dad who is around and able to wrestle rough house with them. Pregnant mamas and postpartum, breast feeding mamas holding newborns are the best for wrestling matches. ...Unless you're talking thumb wrestling... Which is great to help young kids developing fine motor skills!

Also, regular old livingroom floor wrestling is good for kids, too says this article about the book, "The Art of Roughhousing". (I read the article- not the book, yet.)

# 0018: Closet Readers

I don't know why closets have become so exciting to my kids lately, but closets are the "thing" around here. They love to hide out in them. They are camp sites, hide outs, houses and I guess, libraries, also. 

I love how they go in there with pillows and stacks of books. I wont see them for an hour or more- lol! I love that they can be so content just sitting there looking at books in a closet. And I love that they thought of that as a fun and new way to look at books... in a closet... 

More often than not, our closets are elevators that will take the kids to different part of the house as well as France and "Fun-Land".

Here's a book my mom told me about: "Toddler Play" by Gymboree. Apparently Gymboree has several titles like this. There is also "Baby Play" and "Baby & Toddler Play". They are described as books to "help your child learn through play, to stimulate imaginations, build vocabulary, to maximize your child's potential and more". I have not read a one of them, yet! But they look like they would probably be good and would make a good baby shower gift or a baby's first Christmas gift. Basically, it seems like the books are encouraging parents to use their imaginations to teach their children how to use theirs.

# 0012: The Cat in the Hat

I never knew how good I was at reading The Cat in the Hat until just a few years ago. I love that book! And The Cat in the Hat Comes Back is not too bad either. Although, not being able to just wash the "big, long, thin, pink, cat ring" in the tub down the drain is a little far fetched I think. Still, I realize the plot must be advanced somehow!

I love reading The Cat in the Hat! And like I said, I think I'm really good at it. So good, in fact, that sometimes I imagine I'm reading to a room full of Ronald McDonald House families or a library group. True...
Obviously, I'm a hit with somebody out there. Two somebodies to be specific. You know I must be doing something right or else I wouldn't have nearly all 62 pages memorized! Boo ya!
I love reading to the kids because we snuggle up close on the couch or the recliner and they will gladly sit and read forever! They pick out the books themselves and are excited to hear them. However, there are some I'm not real crazy about reading. Fox in Socks- that book wears me out!

Book Review: Bringing up Girls

I had a friend recommend James Dobson's Bringing Up Girls to me a few months ago. I checked it out from the library and bought a couple copies as baby shower gifts for other friends I knew that were having girls.

My Initial Thoughts:
Good, but kind of rambling in some parts. I know that most women don't mind the rambling or extra anticdotes, but I can't expect the hubs to read it if there's too much not-getting-right-to-the-point with absolutely NO redundancy!
I also, think that his earlier stuff is probably better than his most recent. I feel like he gets right to the point and minces no words in the older stuff. It seems like in his more recent books he kind of tip toes up to his point and almost (not quite, but almost) apologizes for it.

My Favorite Parts: 
Dobson put in a quote from John Adams that I super love: "From all that I read of History of Government, of human life, and manners, I [have] drawn this conclusion, that the manners of women [are] the most infallible Barometer, to ascertain the degree of Morality and Virtue in a Nation. All that I have since read and all the observation I have made in different Nations, have confirmed me in this opinion. The Manners of Women, are the surest Criterion by which to determine whether a Republican Government is practicable, in a Nation or not. The Jews, the Greeks, the Romans, the Swiss, the Dutch, all lost their public Spirit, their Republican principals and habits, and their Republican Forms of Government when they lost their Modesty and Domestic Virtues of their women...
The foundations of national Morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are School, Academies and universities instituted if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of youth."
Wow! I love that quote. It's so right on. If you ever think there is something more important than investing in your own kids just think of the entire nation!

Dobson writes a couple chapters specifically for dads that are pretty good. Quick summery: tell your girl she's pretty and take her out on "dates" once in a while.

He also mentions the Culture War which he calls the "River of Culture" that youth are getting swept up in. I know no one really wants to talk about this anymore, but we should. It's almost taboo to speak against anything on TV. And if you say anything about how dirty it is, how it's all crap or how you just don't watch it anymore you sound like a snob or a grandma. There are plenty of articles out there about how many sex and violent images young kids will see in a lifetime, yet the TV remains constantly turned on- see? I sounded like a prude right there. Well, I think TV is nothing but a big brainwashing box! And right there? -a hateful, crazy radical! Anyhoo...

Dobson mentions a book by Joe McIlhaney, MD and Freda McKissic, MD called Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children. It sounds really interesting to me. I like it when man finds through proven facts that God's word was right all along. Meanwhile, we've got things like this and that going on making it harder to guide adolescent girls down the "River of Culture".

Overall: I thought it was a good book to read if you really want to understand how your daughter's mind works and want a reminder of the kind of world our girls are exposed to everyday. It gives some encouragement to be proactive in deciding how we want to parent in the years to come.
It's always easier to make sober decisions ahead of time instead of in the moment. If you wait till the moment is upon you, you may be too rushed or you may let other circumstances make the decision for you. Also, I'm afraid those "moments" in the future will be more and more sticky with more and more people caring less and less about the values I want to instill in my daughter. Isn't there a Refrigerator magnet that says, "if it is to be, it's up to me."?

# 0009: Underfoot

Some days it seems like kids do this best; they are underfoot, clingy, attached, in your bubble and you are trying to think of anything that sounds nicer than, "Get out of my way!" You think, "Geeze, if I could just move a few feet without herding little bodies in front of my and dodging little feet and legs!" They are underfoot.

Why do I love this when I just shared my complaining thoughts about children being underfoot? Well, I love it because they are HERE, they are THERE, they are WHERE I AM and I am right there WHERE THEY ARE.
They are watching me work. They are there to watch and learn. They are taking it all in; everything I do. They are watching me be patient with their siblings... or not... they are watching me use the keyboard on the computer. They are watching me design. They are watching me mop. They are watching me push buttons on the dishwasher. They are listening to me talk on the phone. They are watching me pull the trash bin back to the house. They are watching me vacuum out the car (that has happened... this one time...). They are watching me paint. They are watching me fix dinner.

I love them being underfoot because it means they are being apart of my world. At this age, especially, they want to be apart of my world and I certainly want them to want that. I want them to know me. I want them to know that I want them around. They are learning from me and we are doing things together as a family. Some of the things are mundane or may seem mundane to you, but it's not to a small child. I have recently learned that my nearly two year old loves to help with the laundry. I hear his little feet slapping the tile floor on his way to the laundry room to throw the dirty clothes in and earn his reward of pushing the buttons and watching it start spinning.
Of course, It's always easier to get things done when they're not underfoot. Things go faster and smoother, but if they're not up in your grill how else will they learn? How else will they learn about the adult world when they are constantly shoved out of the way? I realize some things are dangerous, some things just need to get done faster and sometimes you think they'd have more fun someplace else. However, that last one is NEVER true! We really, truly have no idea how much our kids want nothing more than to be around their mom and dad. I always think of this quote from THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS by Dr. Meg Meeker, "If every mother in the United States could wrap her mind around her true value as a woman and mother, her life would never be the same. We would wake up every morning excited for the day rather than feeling as though we'd been hit by a truck during the night. We would talk differently to our kids, fret less about our husbands' annoying habits, and speak with greater tenderness and clarity. We would find more contentment in our relationships, let mean remarks roll off our backs, and leave work feeling confident in the job we performed. And best of all--we wouldn't obsess about our weight (can you imagine?), physical fitness, or what kind of home we live in. We would live a life free from superficial needs because we would know deep in our hearts what we need and, more importantly, what we don't need. Each of us would live a life of extraordinary freedom."

Mostly what I get from that quote is that we as parents have no idea how much we as moms and dads mean to our kids, how much our kids think of us and love us... even at our worst... there is something humbling right there.
So, I love my kids being underfoot, being there, being with me (who they want to be with), and learning a little about the adult world while they're little and (not to be redundant but,) with me; together; being a family.





Here are some links about kids in the kitchen: Teaching Your Child to Cook and A Child's Place is in the Kitchen

Why do I feel like Chris Farely in that Herlihy Boy House Sitting skit he did with Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live? "Please!!! Let the kids watch you water your plants!!! Please!!! Whay wont you just let them watch you cook dinner??!!"