# 0024: Little Teachers

One day, the big kids and I were outside and I sent them to get the mail. Our mailbox is across the street from our house. By street, I mean gravel road that is maybe 10 feet wide. It's a ways from our house for a little kid, but I can still it from our front porch, so I know they feel big heading out there by themselves. It gives them a little more confidence doing something all by themselves and some practice looking both ways (even though there is NEVER anything coming either direction).

Okay so, one day, the big kids and I were outside and I sent them to get the mail. On the way, the girl stopped and looked down. Then, she had her brother stop and look down. She pointed to an ant hill. She bent down to tell him all about it. He squatted down for a closer look. There were lots of "OOOOOHS!!!!" from my little boy and my little teacher continued with lots of pointing here and there.

I don't remember when exactly, but I do know that she and I had had a discussion about ant hills once (basically just that those are ant hills, ants build them, they live there). I love that she saw an opportunity to teach, stopped what they were doing and felt confident enough to share this information all by herself with her brother. I also love that her brother was interested in what she had to say and payed attention to his sister. I know it's just a little thing, but it's proof that they pay attention to what we take time to teach them (most of the time). It proves that those little, sometimes forgettable moments matter. I really don't think that info about the ant hill is changing any one's life, but it's the time that was spent on that info that will add up.

And now for the ant to parenthood comparison: Ants carry what seems like a little to us but, actually weighs more than them. Parents do what might look like a little and simple job to some, but actually adds up to be so much more. BOOM!

I love being able to take to take about little things like ant hills and I love seeing that time spent come back around proving that it matters.

"You just don't luck into things as much as you'd like to think you do. You build step by step, whether it's friendships or opportunities." ~Barbara Bush

# 0009: Underfoot

Some days it seems like kids do this best; they are underfoot, clingy, attached, in your bubble and you are trying to think of anything that sounds nicer than, "Get out of my way!" You think, "Geeze, if I could just move a few feet without herding little bodies in front of my and dodging little feet and legs!" They are underfoot.

Why do I love this when I just shared my complaining thoughts about children being underfoot? Well, I love it because they are HERE, they are THERE, they are WHERE I AM and I am right there WHERE THEY ARE.
They are watching me work. They are there to watch and learn. They are taking it all in; everything I do. They are watching me be patient with their siblings... or not... they are watching me use the keyboard on the computer. They are watching me design. They are watching me mop. They are watching me push buttons on the dishwasher. They are listening to me talk on the phone. They are watching me pull the trash bin back to the house. They are watching me vacuum out the car (that has happened... this one time...). They are watching me paint. They are watching me fix dinner.

I love them being underfoot because it means they are being apart of my world. At this age, especially, they want to be apart of my world and I certainly want them to want that. I want them to know me. I want them to know that I want them around. They are learning from me and we are doing things together as a family. Some of the things are mundane or may seem mundane to you, but it's not to a small child. I have recently learned that my nearly two year old loves to help with the laundry. I hear his little feet slapping the tile floor on his way to the laundry room to throw the dirty clothes in and earn his reward of pushing the buttons and watching it start spinning.
Of course, It's always easier to get things done when they're not underfoot. Things go faster and smoother, but if they're not up in your grill how else will they learn? How else will they learn about the adult world when they are constantly shoved out of the way? I realize some things are dangerous, some things just need to get done faster and sometimes you think they'd have more fun someplace else. However, that last one is NEVER true! We really, truly have no idea how much our kids want nothing more than to be around their mom and dad. I always think of this quote from THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS by Dr. Meg Meeker, "If every mother in the United States could wrap her mind around her true value as a woman and mother, her life would never be the same. We would wake up every morning excited for the day rather than feeling as though we'd been hit by a truck during the night. We would talk differently to our kids, fret less about our husbands' annoying habits, and speak with greater tenderness and clarity. We would find more contentment in our relationships, let mean remarks roll off our backs, and leave work feeling confident in the job we performed. And best of all--we wouldn't obsess about our weight (can you imagine?), physical fitness, or what kind of home we live in. We would live a life free from superficial needs because we would know deep in our hearts what we need and, more importantly, what we don't need. Each of us would live a life of extraordinary freedom."

Mostly what I get from that quote is that we as parents have no idea how much we as moms and dads mean to our kids, how much our kids think of us and love us... even at our worst... there is something humbling right there.
So, I love my kids being underfoot, being there, being with me (who they want to be with), and learning a little about the adult world while they're little and (not to be redundant but,) with me; together; being a family.





Here are some links about kids in the kitchen: Teaching Your Child to Cook and A Child's Place is in the Kitchen

Why do I feel like Chris Farely in that Herlihy Boy House Sitting skit he did with Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live? "Please!!! Let the kids watch you water your plants!!! Please!!! Whay wont you just let them watch you cook dinner??!!"

# 0006: Inconsistencies

"They" always tell you to, "be consistent! You have to be consistent in your disciplining!" I know that is true. However, if something is consistently not working, you are the parent. You get to change your disciplinary measures the very next day if you deem it necessary. It's not like a school or other public institution that has to maintain a standard for every boy and girl no matter what.
Today, however, I'm thinking about the inconsistencies that go on in my own head. 
For some lazy reason I sat and watched my nearly 2 year old son head up stairs, alone, with an uncapped ink pen. It wasn't long before his sister came down and reported that he had drawn on the wall. I was not surprised. Why would I have given him that pen? 
The same thing happened a few years back with his sister. I had left an ink pen out on the table. I'm not sure how long it took me to notice her undeniable handiwork on my lamp shade. 

In both of these incidents I had enabled these children. Of course, we only draw in paper, but they are little people, brand new to the world. How are they to really comprehend why it matters to only draw on pieces of paper? And if there's no paper out, what makes an appropriate substitute? I truely don't believe they know, yet. However, it is our job to teach them- otherwise they would never know.
In both of these cases, I was lazy and then I was extremely irritated at the mess I would have to clean up  because of my own laziness. Still, I would have to get on to the little artists in some way to let them know that we only draw on paper and nothing else! The trouble is that, also in both instances I was really impressed with their art work. The girl (who was older than the boy at the time) had drawn penguins all over the lampshade. The boy had drawn very well, some very straight up and down lines on his wall.
I was torn in both instances on what to do. I really wanted to tell them what a great job they did, but I knew this was not the time, so they got scolded instead.
My mind finds this to be so inconsistent. How can I be proud and mad at the same time? I guess that's one thing I love about being a mom- it's complicated. Every day can be complicated, but I'm the one who takes these complications and gets to figure out what to do with them. Some may see it as cut and dry (the kid drew on the wall. C'mon, it's a no brainer), but I love to take the time to put myself in that little head and wonder how he/ she sees it. They always see the world totally differently than big people. No, I don't always take the time to do that, but it's fun when I do. I should do it more often! 
I'm the one that makes the decision to scold, punish, but more importantly teach them how to act with a ready and available ink pen. I'm also the one that gets to give them a hug and kiss, then sit down with them and a clean sheet of paper to draw to our heart's content.