There She Is!

Our family, friends, and church family love to hold our little man when they see him. I love showing him off and seeing their big smiles as they talk to him, play with him, and love on him. Sometimes he is really agreeable to being passed around, while other times he is not. Many times he will babble back to them and grab their faces, but other times he has the most panicked look and searches to find either me or my husband. Whoever is holding him can see this look of panic, quickly point to me and say "look, there she is! There's your mama!" 

I don't mind this clingy stage one bit. I think it is so cute that he can so upset in someone else's arms, but when they put him back in mine he calms down. I like being his comfort and sense of security right now. These days are passing by so fast and it won't be long until all he wants to do is be on the floor crawling around and exploring his house. It won't be long until he'd rather hang out with his friends than his parents. I know those days are coming, so I'll enjoy my growth  for the time being.

Baby Kisses

My little man loves to stand. He'll nearly stand all day long (as long as we are holding onto him) in our laps, on the floor, wherever! He loves to stand there and look around, craning his neck around every which way to see what's going on.

A few weeks ago he started staring intently at our faces and then bringing his hands up and grabbing our mouths, noses, ears, eyes, and cheeks. He's so interested by our faces! Are we that funny looking? I guess so.

His new trick these days is one that I hope stays around for a while! It's my favorite. When he stands there on my lap he'll lean in with a big, wide, slobbery mouth and give me a big baby kiss! The biggest smile comes across my face and I say "Oh, thank you for the kiss!" He leans back with the biggest toothless grin and squeals.

Yesterday afternoon he did this multiple times and finally my husband asked from his office "Are you getting kisses in there?" And just a few seconds later he was in the living room with us, ready to get a big, slobbery kiss as well.

And this is just another reason that I love being a mom.

# 0049: When Other Moms Love Being Moms

I'm not the most positive, upbeat, outgoing person all the time, but I love when other people are! I love other people's zeal they have for their… jobs, interests, lives, whatever- !!!
I recently met an ice skating coach whose smile seemed to exude ice skating enthusiasm, enough for everyone on the ice, really.
I will never forget a lactation consultant I had in the hospital who acted as if my breast milk was made of solid gold or better yet- OIL! It was plain to see she loved what she was doing and wanted to share that with everyone else.
It seems like speaking ill and sarcastically about our families, especially the ones closest to us is the "cool thing" to do anymore. We've seen it on TV for years; parents who can't wait to get away from their kids, wives who disrespect their husbands. We could probably spend a month researching and discussing some of this at length, going off on tangent after tangent.

All I want to say here is that I love talking with other moms who love being moms. They realize what a blessing and responsibly parenting is and they relish it! I love talking with moms who feel blessed in some way everyday no matter what. It's encouraging to visit with moms who strive for a successful home life, a healthy family in all the ways, but especially relationally. It's great to see another mom smile at her child; a relaxed, joyful smile.
We can talk about what's wrong with this world all day long. We can gripe about our days and complain about how hard things are, but so can everybody else. Our problems don't make us unique. It's our attitudes that make us. Period. I love being around other parents
that love what their doing in the lives of their little ones.

Here's a book you might find encouraging:
Motherhood: An Awesome Calling 

"YOU Are His Mama!"

In the first few days after my baby was born, I was seeking advice from just about everyone. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted to do everything "right." I wanted to breastfeed, but most of the hospital staff warned against using a pacifier too soon. Another family member suggested I go ahead and use it. So here I was with conflicting advice, torn and overwhelmed, not knowing what to do. I felt like everyone else knew what to do and could care for my sweet little boy better than I could in those early days. After all, they had experience and I didn't.

Finally after asking my mom a series of questions about what to do for my baby she said "YOU are his mama. You know best." When she first said that I thought, 'no, no I don't...I'm lost and don't know what to do!' As time goes on though, I think about when she told me that and I'm so glad she did. She may not have realized it then, but she was giving me confidence as a mama to care for my baby. One of the things I've had to learn quick is to be confident in whatever decision you make. If you are just a tiny bit self conscious about some aspect of your mothering, it's like people can sense it and jump in to offer advice, advice you really would rather not hear. Am I alone on this? It seems like if you are confident in your decision, people can sense that too and don't seem to offer as much unsolicited advice.

Nobody knows your kids like you do, and nobody can love them like you can. I have no problem asking for advice. I ask more experienced moms about something almost everyday. The difference between the first few days of being a mama and now is that I've learned to listen to everyone's advice, but sort through it and do what works for our family. Every precious little boy and girl is unique and special in their own way. There are no cookie cutter kids. Next time someone starts to offer advice (or critiques) of your parenting style, listen to what they have to say, but filter through and pick out what works... and remember, YOU are the mama! You know best.

Reason #852: Menu Planning

When I first got married I dreaded grocery shopping. Eventually I ended up telling myself  "you have to learn to like this...it's not going to go away!" So I did! I made myself like it, and now I really do enjoy grocery shopping for my family.

Do I like grocery shopping with my baby? Ehhhhh... Not so much. I like how friendly people are around him, but I've had an embarrassing experience in the grocery store with him... You can refer to number three of this post to read about it. I generally try to leave him with his dad while I grocery shop. I think that is a good arrangement for all of us! I get to shop without worrying when/if he will start crying and they get to play and bond without me around.

I try to menu plan for two or three weeks at a time and make my grocery list based off of the meals planned. By planning our meals for several weeks and limiting trips to the grocery store, it helps our grocery budget by not buying random things just because I have a coupon for it or it is on sale. I know a lot of people have good luck with coupons, but I usually don't. I try to just stick to my list and my menu. I've found that the less I'm in the grocery store (or any store for that matter...anyone else feel out of control in Target?) the less I will buy. Please tell me I'm not the only one who's been guilty of running into the store a gallon of milk and coming out with oreos to dip in the milk and ice cream to make milkshakes.

I like being in charge of the family menu, grocery list, and keeping the fridge and pantry stocked. I see it as a challenge to fix delicious, healthy meals each night all while maintaining our set budget each month. To me it is easier to sit down and take the time to plan several meals all at once rather than wondering all day what to fix that night.

Do you plan your meals? What is your favorite part of feeding your family?

Highs and Lows of my Pregnancy

Every pregnancy is different. Even women who have been pregnant many times will tell you that each pregnancy brought along different challenges, discomforts, joys, and excitement. Women loooooooove to complain about pregnancy, and I was guilty of it too several times during my nine months, but it isn't all bad.

In fact, it can be a great excuse to get things you want! I would tell my husband "I'm so hungry...Let's go to McCalister's for supper." And we would. Just because I played the pregnancy card. Are you hot? Crank up that a/c - you're pregnant after all! Are you tired? For cryin' out loud, take a nap! You're busy growing another person. Nobody else is working that hard!

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a few low point and high points of my experience. I started with the lows so we can end on a good note.

Lows:

1. Morning All Day Sickness

Besides the extreme exhaustion, I felt great for a couple weeks after I found out I was pregnant. And then it hit. I made Broccoli Cheese Soup one Saturday and was looking forward to it all day! As soon as it came time to dish it out, I couldn't stand the smell of it or even look at it. Nope, not happening. Applesauce it was for me that night. And the sickness lasted the entire pregnancy. I took Zofran throughout and it helped immensely. If you are dealing with all day sickness that won't go away (no matter how much ginger ale you drink or if you wear those "sea bands" all day), get a prescription for Zofran...seriously, it was a lifesaver for me!

2. Heartburn/Indigestion

I didn't even know what heartburn or indigestion was until I was pregnant! Finally I figured it out and took a Zantac everyday and popped Tums like they were sweet-tarts. I was just careful to not overeat and I had a "cutoff" for supper each night. 6:30 was the latest I ever ate during my third trimester. My husband would ask if he had time to do something before supper and I'd say "Nope! Remember my cutoff!" Poor guy!

3. Swelling

I was pregnant during the entire summer, and I swelled up like a toad. My wedding ring didn't fit, I could only wear a select number shoes, and I had to wear heavy, thick compression tights during August. I was hot, hot, hot!

4. Going to the bathroom all the time

Well that's just kinda par for the course, isn't it? Take two sips of water, better head to the bathroom! Seriously. All. the. time.

Highs:

1. Telling my husband, our families and friends

I'll never forget my husband's reaction when I told him he was going to be a dad. He couldn't believe it and was so thrilled! We wanted a baby for a while, so when I told him it was so special. We loved telling our families and hearing their squeals of excitement. My father in law found this song somehow on youtube the day or two before we told them our news. He excitedly told my mother in law "Chelsea's pregnant! And she's gonna have twins!" She rolled her eyes at him, but turns out he was right! I was pregnant, just not with twins. So now he thinks he has a "gift." Ha!

2. OB Appointments and Lunch Dates

My husband went to just about every OB appointment with me and we had a lunch date afterwards. We I figured we better enjoy the appointments and lunch dates since we wouldn't have that luxury for the next pregnancy. A lot of women complain about the frequency of dr. appointments you have when you are pregnant, but I enjoyed going and hearing my little man's heartbeat, which leads me to number three...

3. Hearing his heart beat, ultrasounds

The first time my husband and I heard the heartbeat and saw our little peanut on the ultrasound screen it was so surreal! I looked forward to every appointment to hear his heartbeat and LOVED the 20 week ultrasound. Seeing him kick and squirm around on the screen nearly brought tears to my eyes. We even got to see him swallow and suck his thumb.

4. Feeling him move

I don't know how to describe how incredible it is to feel your baby move for the first time. It is a beautiful thing. I called my husband over several times to feel the baby move, but as soon as he would get over there, the baby would quit. It was like our little man was playing games with us before he was ever born! When he finally did kick for his dad, his eyes lit up and he grinned from ear to ear. By the end of the third trimester the movement slowed down because he was simply "out of womb," and the kicks I did feel were usually in my ribs. Ouch!

5. Baby Showers

People love to buy gifts for new babies. Plain and simple. They love to make blankets, buy tiny little pajamas, socks, and towels. We were so blessed to have three great baby showers with family and friends. I loved seeing how excited they all were for us to welcome our little man. So humbling.

6. Friendly people

Before I got pregnant I heard so many women complain about the unwanted belly touches and comments like "are you sure there aren't twins in there?" I didn't get too much of that. I did have so many people ask how I was feeling, when I was due, offer to carry groceries out to the car, and say how "cute" my belly looked. By the end of my pregnancy, I'll admit I was done with the "How are you feeling? How much longer?" questions. I remember one night before church praying for patience and that I would respond "I feel fine, just a few more weeks"  with a smile on my face. Ha! ...As I stood there feeling big as a barn and wearing my compression stockings, jeans, and tennis shoes in August...

Obviously, every little pain and discomfort was worth it when I saw my baby for the first time. I won't say I forgot them, but I lived through it! It really wasn't that bad! Pregnancy is hard work, and I pray for the women who have a lot more difficult and risky pregnancies. It is a long nine months, but it is just the beginning of an even longer journey of being a mama to that precious little baby!

What are some highs and lows of your pregnancies? 

Borrowed Post: Quality Does Not Equal Quantity

Quality time vs. quantity time has been debated over and over again for years and years. Here is a link to my other blog explaining my take on the debate. I'm sure it is no surprise! 

Here is a little snippet of the post: 

"You can't plan quality time. Yes, you can plan special events, like birthday parties, holiday parties, or a family game night. You will probably even make lasting memories at those events, but don't those events usually have some sort of "schedule?" Birthday parties we plan to eat around this time, cut the cake a little later, and then open presents at that time. Holiday parties we do the same thing. Game nights have conversations directed toward the particular game we are playing. There is nothing wrong is getting together and doing those things... I think it is great! But are we really spending qualitytime together when we do that?"

Go over and check it out!

Reason # 1051: Watching My Family Love On My Baby

Since the birth of my boy, I have learned so much about my family and my husband's family. I never paid much attention to how they all love babies and kids. I mean it's a kind of a given, right? Grandparents love their grand kids. Aunts and Uncles love to roughhouse with their nieces and nephews or slip them a cookie when they know that kid's parents wouldn't have allowed it because they've already had five. Kids and babies bring so much joy to families. The silly dances and mannerisms they have, the way they mispronounce words, the questions they come up with... There is hardly a dull moment with little kids around! 

I have been an aunt for several years and watched how my parents and in laws bend over backwards for love their grand kids. I have watched them snap picture after picture, read book after book, and allow their grand kids to do things they never would have allowed their own kids to do. I knew what kind of grandparents my parents and my husbands parents were already... or at least I thought I did. Before my boy was born, I was more of a spectator, so to speak. I just watched my parents and in laws with their grand kids. I didn't know what went on "behind the scenes," like how much they would inquire about their grandchild and love receiving pictures of them. I didn't know they would jump out of bed at 3:30 am and head to the hospital (two hours away) when they got the text that my water had broke. 

There isn't much more I love at family functions than seeing my family with my boy. I love to see my mother in law hold him, smiling ear to ear, while my father in law talks to him. I love to see my grandpa wave at me from across the room to bring him over because his lap is empty and he needs a great-grand baby to fill it! I love when my mom and dad are nearly waiting at the back door to carry him inside their house when we visit. Or when one of my siblings says "do I get to hold him today or not?"

My little man brings so much joy to my husband and I, and it just makes my heart swell when I see him putting a smile on others faces as well. What do you love about watching your family around your little ones?

The Goal of a Grin

Baby grins and smiles might just be the sweetest and most precious gifts we receive as parents. In the early days when our babies aren't very interactive yet, we long for that first grin, coo, and giggle. I love seeing how hard people work to get a half second grin from babies. I love how people don't care if they know you or your baby, if they are in a large crowd, or how "cool" they are, they will do anything to get that smile. We all do it! We talk in high pitched, silly voices, smile, and make silly faces just hoping our baby will return the favor. And when they do, we proudly say "there's a smile!!" Big, toothless, bright eyed, baby smiles are always sure to put a smile on anyone's face. 

Six Things to Learn About a New Dad

I LOVE watching my husband be a dad. We are new to this parenting gig, and we are just slowly getting into (somewhat) of a routine. There is no doubt that having a baby is a game-changer, but we have enjoyed the transition. These are a few things, in my limited experience, I’ve learned about new dads, and I thought I’d share them with you:

1.  New dad suddenly feels a tremendous amount of responsibility

My husband is our family’s financial provider, our spiritual leader, and the head of our house. Before our son came on board, he fulfilled all of those roles, but, now that he is dad, he feels the responsibility even more. We took a family picture on Thanksgiving of this year, and he set it as the background on his work computer.  He said every time he looks at it, he remembers how much responsibility he has for our family. If he seems a little stressed in the beginning, it is probably because of this. Pray for him!

2. New dad doesn’t quite know where he fits in the early days

In the first few weeks after a baby is born, everyone is concerned with the baby. “How is he sleeping? Is he a content baby? Is he colicky?  Is he growing?” They are also concerned with the momma and her recovery. “How are you feeling? Are you getting any rest? How do you like being a mom? How is nursing going?” Not too many people ask about how the dad is doing, and on one hand this makes sense. He didn’t carry the baby for nine months, he didn’t endure labor and delivery, he doesn’t have to learn how to breastfeed, and the list goes on. On the other hand, I can’t understand why nobody asks how new dad is doing! He’s the one keeping the whole show together in those early days. We’ll talk more about this in number three. I remember having a conversation with my husband the first few weeks of our son’s life. He just didn’t know where he fit in, and it made him withdraw a little bit. He explained that he knew our son knew who I was, but he just didn’t think our son knew him apart from anybody else. I reassured that our little guy knew him better than he thought he did, and offered the best encouragement I could for being a couple weeks post partum and sleep deprived. J Just three weeks after our little man was born, my husband had to go away for nearly a week on a business trip. When he got home, Lukas was crying. When he heard his dad’s voice, though, he stopped crying and just looked intently up at him. It was so neat and I believe it reassured my husband that he did know him, even at that young of an age. 

3. New dad is anxious to help

My husband kept the whole show going our first few weeks at home! He took great care of me in the hospital and at home. My first shower after delivery, I couldn’t bend down to dry my feet and legs off, so my husband had to do it for me. He filled my prescriptions. He cooked. He cleaned. He did laundry. He changed diaper after diaper after diaper. He stayed up late with our little guy when he just wouldn’t sleep. He made sure I got as much rest as I could. He did anything and everything he could do to help me and our boy. I’ll never forget how much he served us during that time. Even now, when our guy wakes up in the night, he always wakes up and offers to calm him down, change a diaper, or get me something to drink. Just last night while I was up nursing, he rolled over and asked “do you need anything?” I said no and thought it was sweet of him to ask. Turns out while talking to him this morning, he dreamed that I asked him for a glass of tea. We don’t even have any tea! Ha ha. We had a rough night with our little man last night, can you tell?

4.  New dad can’t wait to play and roughhouse

Maybe it’s because we have a boy. Or maybe it’s just because my husband is just a grown up kid, and kids like to play, but he can’t wait to play and roughhouse with our boy. He doesn’t say it in that many words, but I can tell in the way he acts. As our boy gets bigger and shows a little more interest in toys, my husband gets more excited. He beams as our little guy grabs at his toys or rolls over. He also has grand plans of buying hunting dogs for birthdays, basketball goals, and other toys boys love to play with. I am so excited to see them play together.

5.  New dad loves coming home to see his wife and baby

My husband loves coming home to us, and for that I am grateful. He comes in with a smile on his face each night and hugs to pass out. Maybe it is because he loves his job and has usually had a good day at work, or maybe it is because he loves his role as husband and father. I like to show him videos or pictures I’ve taken of the little man during the day and watch his face light up as he sees them. I like to see him and the little man exchange big ol’ grins at each other like they are long lost pals. My husband coming home at night is the highlight of my day.

6.  New dad is proud of the momma you are

Before I became a mother, I had heard the quote by Donna Bell “Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing, even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.” I never knew how true that quote is until I had my baby! Especially that last part; as a brand new momma, there are days when I feel like I am doing everything wrong. I remember telling my boy one time, “The only thing I know how to do for you is love you.” My husband wrote a list of ten things he loves about me being a mom and put it with one of my Christmas gifts this year. It brought me to tears. Big, crocodile tears. I’ll keep that list forever! I’m grateful that he is proud of me and is my biggest cheerleader.

That’s just a quick list of what I’ve learned about new dads… They need our love, encouragement, and prayers daily. No matter how long we’ve been parents, we are learning how to be momma’s and learning what kind of momma we want to be and our husbands are learning how to be dads and what kind of dads they want to be.

What have you learned about new dads?