# 0027: Breast Feeding

Don't we all have kind of a love/ hate relationship with breast feeding? When it comes right gown to it I love it, but there have been days when I just kind of hate it. For me those days took place in the summer of 2011 due to a yeast infection in both breasts. I wouldn't wish that on anybody! 
There are painful experiences that sometimes go along with this labor of love. There are some annoyances and some inconveniences. But the good outweighs the bad doesn't it? We've all been through the classes and we all know the many, proven benefits of it (some they tell us are life long). We can see for ourselves the immediate blessings of saving money not buying formula or the baby weight melting off. Some of us really enjoy the sweet, quiet time with our very appreciative babies. The lactation consultants preach the necessity of its immunity giving qualities. They touch on the bonding aspect briefly, of course because nobody wants to push the idea that bonding with your child could ever be more important than- well anything- Bonding with family is hardly a must, let alone worth it! *sarcasm* 
Yes, I def believe breastfeeding is the way to go. I'll encourage anybody to breastfeed. Just try it for the first 2-3 months. It gets better and easier. But if you try and it just doesn't work for you after awhile- it's okay. It's really okay.
Maybe you got sick and dried up. Maybe it was too darn painful, maybe you just messed up somewhere along the way, or heck, maybe you just don't like it. It's okay. Whatever happened or didn't happen- it's okay. Breastfeeding does not make or break you as a mom. It's not the end all, be all. I know when you're just a few months in, it seems like breastfeeding is what makes you a mom, your ticket to mother of the year, the cornerstone of your relationship with your baby, but the truth is there is more to being a mom than feeding one end and wiping the other. I know it doesn't seem that way those first few months because that's about all you're doing, but the day that they do both of those things by themselves comes quicker than you know. This world of caring for an infant only lasts a few short months. Your beautiful face, angelic voice and warm hugs are what that little baby will take with him as he moves into toddler- hood and beyond. You bond with your baby just by taking care of your baby's everyday needs. That little baby sees you as the one who meets its every need all day and he or she doesn't care how it' done. I take that back- they would prefer their needs being met with a smile, and maybe throw in a song, too. 
Moral of the story: yes, I love breastfeeding my babies and encourage everyone to at least try it with theirs, but Fact: there is more to being a good mom than breastfeeding.

Please don't be discouraged about breastfeeding. It's worth learning everything you can about it. It's worth suffering through at times. It's worth the inconvenience. It's worth the extra mile. But it's not worth feeling down and depressed about. There is so much more to do for your baby! We have so much more access to so much information and support today than they had 25 years ago. Take advantage of the classes (sometimes they are free) and all the books out there. But don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't work out. Breastfeeding is not a free pass to great-mom super stardom and not-breastfeeding is not a sealing of your fate to a doomed motherhood. Don't those two things sound ridiculous in the context of breastfeeding? There's so much more to being a mom. So. Much. More.
Well, how's that for a pep-talk? I didn't even get out what all I love about breastfeeding. I still have another 4,974 posts to go!

Here's a book about breastfeeding I thought was really good: The Nursing Mother's Companion

# 0026: Mondays

I love Mondays! I really do! For right now anyway. Monday is laundry day at our house, catch-up-day, clean-up-day, put-things-away-day, get-ready-for-the-week-day, recover-from-the-weekend-day.
We are not in a hurry on Monday. We RARELY leave the house on Monday. People take extra long naps on Monday.
What's not to love about Monday? The house gets put back together, things get cleaned up, "reorganized" and "planned" for (light on the organized and planned).
I'm sure I would feel differently about Monday if I had somewhere I had to be... like next year, when I take the big girl to school. But for now, we're making menus in our pajamas and only going as far as our mailbox.
Yep, it takes me a whole day to get ready for six more. Simple.

Now I've got the days of the week song in my head (to the tune of The Adams Family theme): Days of the week (snap, snap). Days of the week (snap, snap). Days of the week. Days of the week. Days of the week (snap, snap). There's Sunday and there's Monday. There's Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. There's Friday and there's Saturday. Then we start again! Days of the week (snap, snap). Days of the week (snap, snap). Days of the week. Days of the week. Days of the week (snap, snap). 

# 0025: Little Excuses

This post may come back to bite me one day...
Does anybody else use their kids as excuses? This girl does! ("Oh, kids are sick- we can't go." "Shoot! Kids are too tired. We'll just stay here." "What? Can't hear you! Kids are too loud and outta control today!")
Most people figure out this goldmine of excuses early on in pregnancy and master it within the first trimester. The excuses during pregnancy are as many as there are stars in the sky! You've got forgetfulness, tiredness, foggy headedness, all sorts of pains and discomforts and basically anything you do wrong you can trace back to the baby inside you. It's really nice to have such an adorable little scapegoat that no one can be mad at. Even when the guilty party arrives, you've still got pregnancy hormones! Thank goodness, because here's my opportunity to blame all of my grammatical mistakes in this blog on lingering pregnancy hormones. Sorry!
But seriously, there is some truth to that "Pregnancy Brain" stuff.

Kids make great excuses to get you out of things. I'm not saying that's the only reason to have them, I'm just saying it's reason # 0025.

# 0024: Cleaning Grout

My sister told me about a grout cleaning recipe she found on Pinterest. I mean, we talk about other, way cooler things usually... really, really cool things... usually...

Anyway, since I own grout now, I thought I'd try it.
I tried it. I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing the grout in between the tiles on the kitchen floor. It wasn't too long before my son joined me with the extra rag I had laying on the floor. He knew just what to do. He really concentrated and wouldn't look up from his work. We scrubbed and scrubbed all around the kitchen. Then, his sister joined us. So, I got a rag for her. We scrubbed and scrubbed that grout. I don't know why this held any interest to them at all. Wait- I don't know why it held any interest for me in the first place.
There's not much to this story, but I like cleaning grout now. I don't do it very often, but I always think of those two little grout cleaners who helped me that day. I love how they joined in with whatever I was doing. It didn't matter what it was; we were together and it makes me smile to picture the three of us crawling around on the kitchen floor with our grout scrubbing rags (oh! and I was 40 weeks pregnant at the time- a little funnier).

It kind of makes me think of this article: http://powerofmoms.com/2010/04/whats-the-point-of-housework/.

Oh, and that grout cleaning recipe is:
• 7 cups of water
• 1/2 cup of baking soda
• 1/3 cup of lemon juice
• 1/4 cup of vinegar

# 0024: Little Teachers

One day, the big kids and I were outside and I sent them to get the mail. Our mailbox is across the street from our house. By street, I mean gravel road that is maybe 10 feet wide. It's a ways from our house for a little kid, but I can still it from our front porch, so I know they feel big heading out there by themselves. It gives them a little more confidence doing something all by themselves and some practice looking both ways (even though there is NEVER anything coming either direction).

Okay so, one day, the big kids and I were outside and I sent them to get the mail. On the way, the girl stopped and looked down. Then, she had her brother stop and look down. She pointed to an ant hill. She bent down to tell him all about it. He squatted down for a closer look. There were lots of "OOOOOHS!!!!" from my little boy and my little teacher continued with lots of pointing here and there.

I don't remember when exactly, but I do know that she and I had had a discussion about ant hills once (basically just that those are ant hills, ants build them, they live there). I love that she saw an opportunity to teach, stopped what they were doing and felt confident enough to share this information all by herself with her brother. I also love that her brother was interested in what she had to say and payed attention to his sister. I know it's just a little thing, but it's proof that they pay attention to what we take time to teach them (most of the time). It proves that those little, sometimes forgettable moments matter. I really don't think that info about the ant hill is changing any one's life, but it's the time that was spent on that info that will add up.

And now for the ant to parenthood comparison: Ants carry what seems like a little to us but, actually weighs more than them. Parents do what might look like a little and simple job to some, but actually adds up to be so much more. BOOM!

I love being able to take to take about little things like ant hills and I love seeing that time spent come back around proving that it matters.

"You just don't luck into things as much as you'd like to think you do. You build step by step, whether it's friendships or opportunities." ~Barbara Bush

# 0023: The "Less Good" Times

Wow- Sorry I haven't blogged in over a month! We've been really side-tracked (to say the least) with Christmas, sickness, birthdays, and hospital stays. Yes, hospital stays! No fun! But Christmas and birthdays- those were fun! Then we got sick. And for people who never get sick we saw a lot of doctors and bought a lot of medicine!
It is hard to find much to be happy about when you're not feeling well... (at any age) and really what is there to love about your family taking turns being sick, staying in a hospital, being separated from each other and, my daughter's biggest concern, "missing out on all the fun"?

Being Thankful
There's alot to be thankful for in the "less good" times. For example, the reason I'm calling them "less good" times; which is because it could always be worse. Our problems this past month were not life threatening or too terribly scary (I believe prayer helped with any fear we had) or really just not as bad as what some people are going through (here are some I've been following on facepage: Tripp Halstead Updates and Bringing Home the Browns. Their stories would seriously break your heart). I know it sounds cliche, but realizing that it could be worse is enough to give me some perspective and that's why I have to call times like these "less good" because as long as you can find some good in them, then they're not truly "bad". ~End of Pollyanna rant.~

Finding Fun in like Everything
So, once I put things into perspective that life really isn't that bad then I can start looking for the good; i.e. what I love about this situation; i.e. what I'm going to blag about- ha ha.
On the way to urgent care, my daughter, through great big crocodile tears expressed sorrow over "missing all the fun". She really cared more about going to church , her cousin's birthday party and shopping then taking care of herself. I guess we could have let her go to all these things in the shape she was in, but it really would not have been a good idea. Short lesson for me: kids are all about fun!... in all kinds of weather... at any time... whatever they look like, feel like... at the expense of pretty much anything; sleep, eats, whatever. Now, there is some different perspective!
Life is not hard. Life is not worrisome. Life is fun! After she got out of the hospital everyone asked her if she was bored in there and commented about it being no fun. She told them "it was fun" and that she "got a lot of artwork done". Of course, it didn't hurt that she was getting balloons, treats, presents and surprises like crazy. I love how kids can be so care-free and light-hearted that they find fun in pretty much everything! I love that! I love that! I love that!
I could probably start another blog with every entry consisting of ways kids make dull things fun everyday.

Being There
Yes, you could have guessed it: BEING THERE! Being there is 5,001 Reasons I Love Being A Mom's go-to reason for anything and everything. I am glad I got to be there when I was there, because guess what! I didn't always get to be there. When they put my little 5 year old baby under and wheeled her back for surgery- I wasn't there. Because I'm nursing our 3 month old baby boy I couldn't spend the night with her in the hospital room. Because our 2 year old throw up all over the kitchen floor one morning I wasn't there the day they released her. I was there through the days and she was in good hands with her dad at night and all day till he brought her home to us. So, I know even more the importance of being there. How do you show love and support without being there? Phone calls, flowers, Facetime, presents? Those things are not enough when it's your own child. I love being right there.

Being Missed
I might end up writing a another post about this someday, but for now we'll throw it in on this one. Our little boy missed us! And we missed him! He stayed with his grandparents (the lifesavers) while the rest of us were in the hospital. Our family was almost all together, but not quite. Sitting in the hospital bed our daughter wanted to call her brother. They "talked" for a minute and she invited him up to watch a "show" with her. Apparently, he had been acting kind of down before the phone call and afterwards had really perked up. I'm sure his face lit up at the mention of a "show". I know he had fun with is grandma and grandpa, but I'm glad he cared enough to miss his brother and his sister and his mom and dad. I love that my kids can have fun anywhere they go. I love that we have fantastic family and friends that love our kids, but I also love being missed.

I can't say 2013 has started out with a bang exactly, maybe a sneeze, but I do hope to continue the trend of finding fun in everything, being there, and building bonds in our family through good times and less good times.

The Shooting

I just can't not comment on this.
I hate it. I've had such an unsettled, helpless feeling since it happened- like, "what are we gonna do now?" And then I think about those parents... and I just can't do it. My kids are about that age and I just can't go there. But, how can we not think about them?
I know I'll be thinking about them on my Christmas morning at my house with my kids crawling all over me, laughing with wrapping paper stuck to their jammas and toys everywhere. I'll be thinking about those parents as we tie our sugar-hyped kids into the car and make our way to grandma's (hoping they sleep on the way) to eat all her cookies and get spoiled with even more snuggles and gifts. I'll be thinking of them at the end of the day when my precious little gifts pass-out in their beds with sticky candy canes stuck in their hair and new toys piled up next the door.
I'll be thinking about them and praying about the whole situation, but I can't put myself in their shoes or even imagine... I can't go there. I can be really thankful all Christmas Day and everyday that I have been given the kids I've been given.
There's a lot I can't do. I'm not in the position politically and more importantly, I am not the ruler of the universe (I'm only half ruler of our 5 acre plot). There are a lot of reasons being pushed on us and tossed around to the natural, first question, "why?". We've got gun control, mental illness, video games, parenting, Hollywood, over-saturated media, lack of family values, removing prayer from public school,  and I'm sure I'm leaving some out. I have an opinion on each one of those reasons, but if I was a Sandy Hook parent I don't think I would care for the one, simplistic, "boiled down to" answer. There can't be just one simple reason for a tragedy that will cause so many complications in so many lives for the rest of their lives! I can't accept just one, simple answer. No, something like this deserves more thought and more "yes, but why?" questions asked. The murder of even just one helpless and innocent child deserves more than a one word, closed ended response (ie; SATAN! End of discussion... GUNS! End of discussion... MEDIA! End of discussion... ). There has to be more to the reason and more to our plan of action than that, because well, there's certainly going to be more to this shooting than just what went on that one day. I know those children are safe now, but the surviving children that saw...
I'm going to need to tack on some extra time to my prayers regarding what happened last Friday; especially in the thankfulness department because God is in control (Isaiah 59:1), but He doesn't promise tomorrow (James 4:13).

# 0022: Perpetual Optimism

The other day, we were pulling out of the driveway on our way to preschool. I had rushed everyone out the door and into the car, threw that old V-8 in reverse and backed out of the garage into a very bright and beautiful morning. I wasn't in a bad mood or anything, just rushed. I noticed the sun was bright, but I didn't notice how pretty it was shining in a bright blue sky. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes and nearly peeled out of the driveway as my preschooler from the backseat said, "This is going to be the best day ever! OH! What a beautiful day!"
Now sometimes this girl is a little over the top, but nonetheless she is genuine and I couldn't help but laugh a little as soon as she said it. Then, I looked around for a minute as I tore down our gravel road. She was right! It really was a beautiful morning. I noticed it more and more on the way into town. The sun was really pretty shining through the trees we passed and this one hay field in particular was just really gorgeous. I'm not a morning person, but I love the morning sun when I do get to see it.
I was extremely thankful that morning for that little preschool girl and her perpetual optimism. I would have missed out on a lot had I chosen to ignore her or what if she hadn't said it at all?
I quickly agreed with her and pointed out some of the beautiful sights that I was seeing. However, I don't know if she noticed them or not as this precious, happy little moment was cut off abruptly with an annoyed, "WHAT?! MAMA- I CAN"T HEAR YOU!" from the backseat. That V-8 is LOUD!

Later, I came across this:

"I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities. I am not, by accident in your life. Incredible or unbelievable as this may sound, I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life. Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love." -Bruce Scott

So, that's pretty true. I do love taking them to "activities", teaching them "raising" them. Those things are all blessings to me, but how often do I slow down enough to really see the gift they are to me just by being here and being themselves. I love that little girl's optimism and BONUS: I love her just being here with me and being herself. I think we can all imagine our lives with less laundry, but I can't imagine my life without these little moments.

# 0021: Being the Rescue Mom

A few weeks ago, I was picking our girl up from preschool. The preschool director was babysitting a little 10 month old girl in her car seat while her mother went to do something with her older boy. The 10 month old cried the whole time she sat there looking at the preschool director she really didn't know. The mother got back and apologized for the 10 month old crying the whole time. Of course, the preschool director didn't mind- she has kids and grand kids of her own. The mother told how this past weekend they were visiting grandparents and she thinks that her own mother's feeling were hurt because the 10 month old granddaughter wouldn't have anything to do with her grandma- she only wanted her mama. The mother explained that she stays home with the girl and that's probably the reason for the attachment issues. I quickly added that the attachment were a good thing and that "mama is always going  to be number one".

Later that afternoon (completely unrelated to what was discussed at preschool), I remembered how I used to keep a journal, sort of, of the kid's first few weeks. I have 13 entries for our first baby, 3 for the second and at weeks, the third baby didn't have a single entry, yet. So, I sat down and started one. Then I looked through the old ones. Here's an excerpt from an entry when our first baby was about six months old:

"Over the Fourth of July weekend, she got very tired and it was very hot in some places, but she just didn’t want to be held by very many people that weren’t Mommy. I think people were kind of annoyed by it, but I secretly liked it. It was the first time she reached and lunged for me. She also would turn away from other people and bury her little head in my shoulder."

Ha ha ha ha ha! I like the part where I say that I secretly liked it! I loved it! Who doesn't like being the one a baby lunges for and wants? And besides that, wouldn't be a little odd if a little baby didn't care anything about going to its mother? The time will come soon enough when they wont want to leave grandma's house. I love that I have and have had such good relationships with my babies and time to form an attachment with them at these young ages when it matters. Also, I love rescuing them out of a completely harmless relative's arms!

Always The Mom...

I have kind of a rant to go off on. A few weeks ago, I read an article on BabyCenter.com called, "Why are men just men, while women are moms?" about how men are always introduced first as men and what they do where as women, no matter what they do are introduced as a mother first and then are recognized for their accomplishment. People seem to have a problem with this double standard. This was my response:

"Why is this a problem that working women are Introduced as mothers or grandmothers first? I’m glad that people are still interested in the family side of someone.

The family should be first no matter who you are or what you do, so how could it be insulting or considered a set back of any kind when no matter the achievement, people want to know about a person’s family life?
I understand some people have a problem with the double standard; men being men first, not fathers. Isn’t that just the nature of the beast, so to speak? I mean, you don’t hear dads crying around about how little is spent on Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day. Aren’t fathers just as important to the healthy development of a child as a mother is yet the fsther’s day cards being sent, the long distance calls beung made are fewer and much farther between.
News flash: males and females are wired different. It’s a proven scientific fact. Boys and girls, husbands and wives, moms and dads- different. There will always be a “gender gap”. Thank goodness for that! Women’s lives would be so boring without the men and men’s lives would be so boring without the women.
Let me reiterate the fact that no matter what you achieve or who you become to the rest if the world, you are first a mom in the eyes of that child (who will always only have one mom). Nothing will ever be more important to that child than what you did for him or her at home as the mom first. It’s a good thing! Be thankful!"

I honestly don't see the problem with being known as a mom first. It's the most important title you'll ever hold and the most irreplacable position. Anybody could walk out of their job tomorrow and they'd be replaced in less than a week. But you can never be replaced at home. That position will always be filled even if the worst happens. The value of a mother to her child far exceeds her worth anywhere else. I would take it as a huge compliment to be mentioned as the mom and then the whatever. 

P.S: Even if you are the Queen of England- you are still known as the "Queen MOTHER". Just sayin'.